Wife-Mother-in-Law Relationship and Violence among Yoruba Women of Southwestern Nigeria

Abstract

Policies that discourage violence against women and girls abound in Nigeria but have not been effectively implemented. Recorded history, recent events and happenings have shown that Nigerians still experience the occurrence of the most prevalent yet relatively hidden and ignored form of violence against women and girls. In Nigeria in recent times, findings from social research have shown that violence against women and girls is present in every ethnic group, cutting across boundaries of culture, class, education, income and age. However, significant percentage of all the social research findings, write ups and activities of the feminists in Nigeria identify male-induced violence as central to the perpetuation of women’s oppression, thereby downplaying the incessant strained relationships existing between wives and mother-in-laws in Nigeria and therefore are yet to offer concrete and enduring explanations to the ever present violence between wives and their mothers-in-law. Building on cultural feminism, with a focus on women agencies the study examines causes, intensity and frequency of family violence which is rife among daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law of Yoruba extraction of south-western, Nigeria. Both primary and secondary data were gathered for the study. Primary data were obtained through questionnaire administered among 180 women (90 wives and 90 mothers-in-law) who were selected purposively from three communities in south-western Nigeria. In addition, three Focus Group Discussion sessions were conducted among wives, mothers-in-law and unmarried girls in 2010 for the study. The findings show common factors causing friction in relationship between daughters-in-law and their mothers-in-law especially among Yorubas of southwest, Nigeria. Multi-level analysis revealed that violence is common among educated daughters-in-law than their semi-literate and illiterate counterparts, though physical abuse is not very common. The results also showed that most unmarried girls wish to marry men whose mothers are dead. The study also reveals that mothers-in-law with excessive psychological and emotional attachment to their sons are over-protective of their sons. To reduce or contain this problem, it is suggested that both parties needed to be educated on how to play their different roles with the son or the husband as the case may be without resulting to violence. In addition, it is recommended that mothers-in-laws should develop the good sense of letting go in order to give the new couple enough space to establish themselves at the same time remain supportive to the couple and that daughters-in-law should be loving, tolerant, and respectful because they are going to become a mother-in-law one day.