Why Do Women Demand and Men Withdraw? The Role of Outside Career and Family Involvements

Abstract

Contextual and essentialist explanations of how couples 'interactions are gendered were compared by examining the relationship between demanding and withdrawing within couples and the partners'involvements outside the couple. Data consisted of questionnaire reports completed independently by partners in 62 heterosexual couples. Results showed that wives were more often in the demanding/pursuing role than were their husbands, but that this pattern also was significantly correlated with the partners' outside involvements. The magnitude of demanding-and-withdrawing and pursuing-and-distancing was higher in couples in which one partner was more involved than the other in his or her career In addition, gender differences in who demands and who withdraws were more pronounced when wives had greater involvement with their families of origin than husbands had with theirs. Results are discussed in terms of relevance to the debate on gender stereotypes and implications for couples therapy.