Who gets mad and who feels bad? Mate value discrepancies predict anger and shame in response to transgressions in romantic relationships

Abstract

Mate value discrepancies (MVDs) predict multiple outcomes in romantic relationships, including relationship satisfaction, jealousy, and forgiveness. We tested the hypotheses that MVDs would predict anger and shame in response to both medium and strong transgressions within romantic relationships. Participants in long-term committed relationships read scenarios describing relational transgressions and rated how much anger and shame they would feel if they were either the victim or the perpetrator of the transgressions in their current relationship. We found partial support for our hypotheses. Victims of medium-level transgressions were angrier the more alternative potential mates there were that were closer to their ideal mate preferences than their current partner. Perpetrators of strong transgressions felt more shame the higher in mate value their partner was compared to them. Results suggest that different MVDs may predict different outcomes in relationships and highlight the importance of using functional theories of emotions to predict individual differences in emotional responses.