Webs of Endless Possibility Life Lessons from the “Great Mother” as Told by a Black Widow and her ten Little Spiders

Abstract

This article offers a fairy tale but also a moral tale. It tells the story of a black widow spider and her ten little spiders—all female. After a number of behavioral observations about the habits of black widow spiders, under the disguise of lessons from life, there is a dialogue between the ten little spiders and their “grandma” black widow. The article transforms into a moral tale touching upon a number of issues such as male-female relationships, leadership, meaning and the feminine mystique. Initially, the dialogue centers around the complex psychological dynamics of what makes partner relationships work—and what doesn’t make them work. Often, it is described as the dialogue of the deaf, both parties not picking up the subtle signals. In addition, many of the dimensions of what makes for effective and ineffective partnerships are highlighted. Subsequently, the article (still using the “lessons learned” format) includes a number of observations about what’s needed to create an effective leadership style, taking both a Machiavellian perspective and a more idealistic one. Furthermore, the essay contains a number of reflections on the forces that will make for meaning. Finally, some observations are offered about the role of the female in the imagination—a reference to the symbolism of the “Great Mother” image. Throughout the article, attention is given to the black widow symbolism in society—the discomfort of some men with the feminine mystique, often due to early ambivalent experiences with women. Men may have this fear of women while, at the same time, live in a self-created male dominated world. In the same way that black widows can be truly deadly, the feminine can—in the imaginations of these men—become something very threatening.