We matched on Tinder and they seemed alright so we met in a bar and after a couple of hours I said are you God?

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we matched on Tinder and they seemed alright so we met in a bar and after a couple of hours I said are you God? Paula Harris (bio) and they said hahaha, no, why would you say that? and I said you seem a bit translucent and your feet don't touch the ground—nice shoes by the way—so you're either God or a ghost and they looked awkward and said haha, God! whoever heard of such a thing?! and I said every time you swirl your drink there's a tsunami warning and every time you move in your chair there's an earthquake and when you scratch your scalp there's thunder and also the white robes and the angels trying to blend into the crowd is all a bit OTT and they squirmed a little and the building rocked and I said see! and they sighed in concession and I said I bet you're a tap and gap kinda god and they looked offended and said no way, I'm looking for long term, baby doll and I said what would Mary have to say about that and they said haha and I said do you even take human form very often? at least Zeus is used to fucking humans; you seem super awkward in this body and I suspect you might be bad in bed and do you even go down? and God said ahh. ha. [End Page 320] Paula Harris Paula Harris lives in Aotearoa/New Zealand, where she writes and sleeps in a lot, because that's what depression makes you do. She won the 2018 Janet B. McCabe Poetry Prize and the 2017 Lilian Ida Smith Award. Her writing has been published in various journals, including The Sun, Gulf Coast, Passages North, New Ohio Review and Aotearotica. She is extremely fond of dark chocolate, shoes and hoarding fabric. website: www.paulaharris.co.nz | Twitter: @paulaoffkilter | Instagram: @paulaharris_ poet | Facebook: @paulaharrispoet. Copyright © 2022-2023 Pleiades and Pleiades Press