Understanding Loss, Mourning, and Caring - From a Perspective of Pastoral Theology

Abstract

The purpose of this article is to understand loss, mourning, and caring from a perspective of pastoral theology. While overcoming the linear description of loss and mourning, this study is also to explore the comprehensive process of loss and mourning, and to present an effective method of pastoral care in order to promote the healing of loss and mourning. As if going up the spiral steps, the process of mourning involves the dynamic and complicated dimensions which includes the interactive changes of emotion, and thought, and behavior. As such, pastoral caregiver helps the mourner to (re)form the relational self, while both listening empathically the voice of mourner and paying attention to the painful situation. Pastoral caregiver needs to share the sense of loss and grief, and needs to guide the mourner to establish the new and alternate relationship. Pastoral caregiver is able to use the following method of pastoral care in order to enhance the healing of mourning: 1) to express freely the sense of deep grief in a safe place, 2) to confront with the reality of loss, 3) to accept positively the mourner himself/herself, 4) to relate with other people in the community, 5) to reflect on the life and death in the religious/spiritual dimension, 6) to reorganize the sense of loss and to proceed with new life. In the healing process of mourning, ‘the ability to mourn deeply’ denotes ‘the ability to relate wholly.’ As such, pastoral caregiver leads the mourner to recover the relationships of mourner-mourner himself/herself, mourner-others(e.g., church community members or local community members), and mourner-the divine/God. From a perspective of pastoral theology, Christians enable to accept positively human finitude (which includes loss and death) in the providence of God’s creation. ‘We are able to mourn together’ means ‘we are able to love one another’ through the compassionate love of God. Especially, we enable to see God who suffers with us in the context of loss and grief, to share our own pain and suffering, and to make together a new hope in the presence of God.