Traversing ruins: Kristen Radtke’s post-apocalyptic dark tours in Imagine Wanting Only This

Abstract

ABSTRACT Kristen Radtke’s graphic memoir Imagine Wanting Only This (2017) visually chronicles the author’s journeys through post-apocalyptic sites including abandoned cities, derelict landscapes, and architectural ruins in order to process the grief over the loss of her uncle and to confront her recurrent thoughts on mortality. Diagnosed with a fatal heart condition that catapults her into reflections on the transience of human existence, Radtke seeks answers by engaging in a series of dark tours to find physical manifestations of her inner turmoil amidst deserted cities and modern ruins. This essay examines how Radtke treads complex subjects of loss, angst, and death through nuanced visual storytelling while associating her vulnerable body with the dilapidated structures she explores. It further investigates how ruins as transitional spaces that simultaneously evoke recollections of a catastrophic past as well as the hope of human endurance offer avenues of self-reflection for the grieving protagonist, aiding her to successfully navigate her grief and overcome her anxieties.