The Toronto Lesbian Family Study

Abstract

Twenty-seven lesbian mothers completed standardized tools chosen to assess current functioning, followed by a video-taped interview. Verbal children were also interviewed. Questions involved perceptions of the mothers' and children's experiences of being homosexual or being raised by homosexual parents, knowledge and fantasies about the donor/father, feelings regarding the role of fathers, parents' experiences of being fathered, legal issues, and development. All mothers were strongly lesbian identified and most were completely “out.” All but one mother planned to or had told their children. All mothers planned to reveal donor information at an appropriate age. Many, especially parents of boys, had concerns about lack of a male role model, but none felt this would negatively affect the child's development. Mothers were open to having their child ask questions and even seek out the donor when older. Thirty-one percent of mothers reported a positive relationship with their own father, 42% a father who was present but unavailable or punitive and 27% a completely absent father for large parts of their childhood. Couples divided parenting work based on individual strengths and interests, work schedules and demands. Only two of the couples felt that one of them played a role typical of a father. An aggregate score was compiled for each mother based on the number of negative outcomes in the standardized tools. The mean number of negative outcomes for the mothers was 3.15 (SD = 1.85). Of the six women with 5 or more negative outcomes on the scales, three were single parents and one had lost her partner when her child was two months old. On the CESD, three mothers showed depression levels that were high. The Internal External scale showed 42% of mothers to have an external locus of control. Three mothers scored negatively on the Family Assessment Device. Ninety-two percent of women showed moderate to high self-esteem on the Rosenberg Self-Esteem scale, and the Parenting Stress Index found only 4 women showing enough stress to warrant follow-up. Mothers who reported very negative early experiences of coming out were more likely to report current depressive symptoms (p = .03). All but one child living in two-mother homes identified both mothers as part of their family. Our initial impression is that these are primarily strong families with a variety of parenting skills, stressors and philosophies.