The Maternal Darkness: A Voice of The Indonesia Former Bomber Mother

Abstract

This article discusses the reality of regretful experience from a female terrorist of becoming a mother in the perspective of the study of motherhood and terrorism. Female terrorists’ activities are often correlated to maternal inequalities. Figure of a mother is always seen as a perfect role and it is women’s responsibilities to provide life, full of tenderness, affection and nursing in kindness. On the other hand, motherhood in criminal activities, especially terrorism, is often seen as a new mask in its modus operandi which leads to new exploitation. This study investigates the role and agency of women which are more active in terrorism and its relevancies to motherhood. Regretting motherhood is a research finding that argues if motherhood is a philosophical thing which all women dream about (Donath, 2017). The regret experience occurs since the beginning when a woman becomes a mother or conducting role as a mother, including for women who are involved in terrorism. The findings of this interview are the first study that reveal regretting experience of becoming mother of women involved in terrorism in the context of Indonesia. Women who are involved in terrorism tend to acquire deeper understanding in religion, especially in religion-based parenting, they generally believe if the noble duty of a mother in nurturing and educating, yet this case shows the opposite. The finding of the research argues the general assumption and uncovers the anomalies in the role of motherhood and religious norm which attach to mother involved in terrorism. This research uses in-depth interview method to two terrorism perpetrators, a woman who is a wife and also mother together with her husband, both of them planned to carry out a suicidal bombing in one of regional police headquarters in Indonesia but were thwarted. The result of this study adds argumentation related to repositioning of motherhood in the context of women involved in terrorism as a new perspective.