Abstract
The Holy Juggalo, and: Metaphysical Hoochiemama, and: Uncool Niece and the Guardian Angel Jack Hernandez (bio) The Holy Juggalo In black waters,deep under thebelly-humof the comfortablesea, anglerfishstew light.The counterexampleto white paradise a candy cane slutravingwith sharpened teethand a disco ball crack-rockattached to the endof an antenna. At the bottomthere is onlythe color of fleshand absence a manic chiaroscuropaintedon the faceof a clown, it takes the weightof the ocean, [End Page 79] an entire posseof benevolentdouchebagsto bounce and scream to cackle, smoke, andstrobe until oneshuts the lightfrom their eyesand blushes. Through one colorcomes the firstland mammal,the last hyperbole, and the birthof nuance. Metaphysical Hoochiemama I am homologousto the mall goth. For me,loveis a metaphysicalquaalude and I'mstraight-edge— [End Page 80] Normcoreat the adultbookstore fantasizingabout the end of daysin mom jeans about Armageddonin sneakersand sweatshortsand a Sundayhaircut. A real nice lady,with massivechumbawumbas.Who dresses me as a cheerleaderand takes meout of the darkness to the topof the bleachers, where the windblowsand life is always bitchin. [End Page 81] Uncool Niece and the Guardian Angel At the end of your family lifeI'll be the handymanin your backyard you, the uncool nieceme, the suede denimsecret police your punk rock uncleundercover,ready to stop youfrom killing all ofBobby Kennedy'sgrandchildren. You'll expose mewhen you see howI eat shrimp cocktailin my underwearat 9 am, a privilegedfanboy of seafood. In righteous stockingsyou will light me uplike gasoline, whichyou will then pouron your skin, hair,opposable thumbs,US passport, workinglegs, loving parents,and English tongue. [End Page 82] You'll kill yourselfwith the intentionof being reincarnatedas the first transvestitemayor of Dallas and I'll come backas your cowboy boots. [End Page 83] Jack Hernandez Jack Hernandez is a poet living in Denver, Colorado. He runs the Instagram poetry journal @toypoems. Copyright © 2018 University of Nebraska Press
Published Version
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