The Eleatic hangover cure

Abstract

It's well known that one way to cure a hangover is by a 'hair of the dog' another alcoholic drink. The drawback of this method is that, so it would appear, it cannot be used to completely cure a hangover, since the cure simply induces a further hangover at a later time, which must in turn either be cured or suffered through. But, if you think about it, there is a way to completely cure a hangover using a hair of the dog. Suppose (1) that there is a simple and direct relationship between the amount of alcohol consumed and the duration of its effects, so that, for example, a pint of beer induces an hour's drunkenness, followed by an hour's hangover, with smaller quantities of alcohol corresponding to proportionally shorter periods of drunkenness followed by shorter hangovers. Suppose also (2) that a hair of the dog works because drunkenness masks the pain of a hangover. I will speak loosely: when a hangover is masked in this way, I will say that the hangover is 'cured', though perhaps it would be fairer to say only that its symptoms have been relieved. To cure a hangover using a hair of the dog, start drinking at a time when you are not drunk, and have no hangover. Drink a half a pint of beer, and wait for half an hour until you are just about to get a hangover. Then drink quarter of a pint of beer. Wait quarter of an hour, until you