The attachment antecedents of shame: mothers’ representations of the shamed self

Abstract

This study was designed to explore the intergenerational roots of shame in the context of attachment. The sample comprised sixty-nine mothers with four- and five-year-old children (54 girls, M = 58 months) drawn from a study of parenting risk. The mothers (age range 25–48) were culturally diverse, educated, partnered, and middle to upper-middle class. Mothers completed the Adult Attachment Projective (AAP) (George & West, 2012) and children completed the Attachment Doll Play Assessment (ADPA) (Solomon et al., 1995). The dyad was also videotaped interacting with a realistic baby doll and maternal behaviour was rated using Britner et al.’s (2005) maternal scales. The authors developed a coding system to capture three shame-related variables from mothers’ narratives of parent–child conflict in response to one of the AAP stimuli (Child in Corner): 1) evidence of shame; 2) parental socialisation actions; and 3) parental efforts to regulate the child’s shame. Results showed that three-quarters of mothers referred to implicit or explicit shame, but socialisation depicting shame was unrelated to child attachment security. Most mothers described harsh socialisation practices and incomplete efforts to repair the child’s shame. Only mothers of securely attached children described socialisation actions to emotionally repair the relationship. The shame measures were partially validated with the maternal parent–child interaction observation rating variables. The utility and limitations of the new measures are discussed in terms of their potential usefulness to research, clinical assessment, and treatment.