Somatic work and independent training as an invisibly disabled performer

Abstract

In the last decade, disability has come to be regarded as a new aesthetic value (Siebers 2010), a representative view often relying on visible difference to construct disability as an identity category, overlooking performers for whom chronic illness creates invisible disability. Despite advances in inclusive practice, the liminality of chronic illness through unpredictable and fluctuating influence on energy levels and chrononormative markers means that these invisibly disabled performers can be marginalised from performance training, often described as intensives. Additionally, energy-limiting conditions challenge conventional performance-making practices and contest traditional concepts of virtuosity, focusing instead on the production of meaning rather than physical accomplishment. This article explores my PhD performance practice, during which I embarked on independent somatic practice to investigate perceptions of the invisibly disabled body in performance. This was a period of unlearning previous codified dance training, moving away from unrealistic bodily regimens to listen to the tacit expertise of my chronically ill body, and develop performance practice shaped by the unique needs and restrictions of ME. With the role of the invisibly disabled performer still an emerging area of research, performers like me must develop unique forms of training and practice attuned to their diverse sensory modalities. While this process fosters greater embodied understanding through the constant somatic work required to monitor chronic illness, it also raises questions as to whether this form of training is necessarily independent, and how mainstream training routes might be more accommodating for those whose embodied temporal restrictions can otherwise be excluding.