Sanctuary or prison: queer youth and the family, household and home

Abstract

Attention to queer youths' lives in their family homes often centers on their coming out experiences. These experiences are framed as negative, filled with anxiety and even trauma [Valentine, G., Skelton, T. & Butler, R. (2003). Coming out and outcomes: Negotiating lesbian and gay identities with, and in, the family. Environment and Planning D: Society and Space, 21, 479–499; Valentine, G. & Skelton, T. (2003). Finding oneself, losing oneself: The lesbian and gay ‘scene’ as a paradoxical space. International Journal of Urban and Regional Research, 27, 849–866]. This is not always the case as these experiences can be quite positive and even queer the rest of the family [Gorman-Murray, A. (2008). Queering the family home: narratives from gay, lesbian and bisexual youth coming out in supportive family homes in Australia. Gender, Place and Culture, 15, 31–44]. For many queer youths, however, coming out to family members can be characterized as neither positive nor negative. Instead, I argue that queer youth experiences in the family home are complex, involving a socio-spatial navigation and negotiation with(in) their family/home. As such, queer youth often must negotiate the closet carefully as they decide to whom, when, and in what capacity to come out. Yet, the experiences of queer youth in the household do not rest solely in coming out. Other factors and family/household arrangements add to the complexity of queer youths' living in the family home – out of the closet or not. Furthermore, this article expands the definition of family by drawing on Sedgwick's concept of the avunculate [Sedgwick, E. K. (1993). Tales of the avunculate: Queer tutelage in the importance of being ernest. In E. K. Sedgwick (Ed.), Tendencies, Durham, NC: Duke University Press]. I draw upon semi-structured interviews, focus groups and participant observation of LGBT/queer adolescents.