Psychological Origins of The Transference To Female Dominance in Vietnamese Families

Abstract

Generally, the gender culture of East Asia is male chauvinist. This assumption is not only an expression of masculine dominance but also a social convention that gives men the privilege to administrate society based on the presumption of male intelligence and rationality in order to serve the needs of social development. Such social conventions are expressed in the proverb: "Men are the backbone of the country" or "Men are as shallow thinking as the wells. Women are as deep-thinking as the betel tray." These social conventions have been extended and practiced in the structure of the traditional nuclear family, expressed in idioms and proverbs such as: "The boat follows the waterman; the girl follows the husband" or "A child has a father like a house has a roof. The fatherless children are like tadpoles without tails"; or the ethical values assigned to women such as "Three obedience and four virtues", which are considered Confucian values. It is worth noting that although Vietnam is located in the East Asia cultural area, Vietnamese society also has idioms that emphasize the role of women/mothers in the family in balancing the roles of the two genders, such as: "Men build houses, women build happy nests" or "Those who fatherless eat rice and fish, those who motherless lie in leaves". Even so, it is undeniable that men play a pivotal and vital role in the traditional Vietnamese nuclear family structure: Men are given the voice to represent the family (or agency of family), whether based on their will or the will of the family collective. In other words, the man is "the leader of the family" for all activities and development of his family, thus having all the privileges of family administration delegated by the members of his family. In the context of contemporary Vietnamese families, this element of administrative privileges is gradually being transferred to women. This transference has not just appeared in this 21st century, but has existed in a small scope. In the first 20 years of this 21st century, the mainstream discourse has increasingly encouraged this transference, such as changing the metaphor of "roof" from father to mother. Women today are compared to the "roof" of the family instead of men as tradition. Therefore, women have more voices in establishing the core values of the traditional Vietnamese nuclear family. What is the cause of that transference of privilege? What made men voluntarily give their privilege to women even though society still preserves the role of men both in society and in the family? There are many sociological explanations, such as the maturation of women's social status through labour freedom, economic independence, body self-determination, and freedom of sex-mate choice. This article aims to provide an additional perspective on socio-psychological aspects when describing and demonstrating a psychological complex that exists deep in the mind of men towards women; thus, when faced with the maturity of the status of women, men are forced to concede their position status in the role of establishing the core of values in the traditional nuclear family. This psychological complex is temporarily called "fear of being cuckold".