Preparing Couples for Marriage: The SYMBIS Model.

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A premarital approach-Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS), involving seven questions for couples to explore-is presented in this chapter as a means to permanence, intimacy, and satisfaction of lifelong marriage. The theoretical underpinnings of this psycho-educational program are examined, and descriptions of the 10 sessions it prescribes are provided. The authors also discuss the use of “marriage mentors,” where seasoned and experienced lay couples further the educational experience of the SYMBIS model. As codirectors of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Paci¢cUniversity, the primary emphasis of the authors’ work is marriage preparation and early marriage mentoring. A psycho-educational approach that incorporates essential skills and highlights up-to-date information about contemporary marriage is crucial to correcting faulty information and equipping couples with an accurate understanding (of themselves and what they bring to the relationship) for a successful marriage. The marriage-mentoring component complements the psycho-educational approach by shifting the reliance from classrooms, books, videos, and counseling to a relational connection between a knowledgeable and experienced giver and a receiver. A marriage mentor is de¢ned as a happy, more experienced couple who empowers a newly married couple through sharing resources and relational experiences, particularly throughout the ¢rst year of marriage. The Center for Relationship Development (CRD) was established in 1992 with theoverarching goal of nurturing healthy relationships through preventive interventions. In conjunction with the university’s Department of Psychology, CRD sponsors curricular offerings that are academically rigorous and based on solid theoretical and applied research. Currently these offerings consist of two psychology courses in relationship development, the ¢rst of which focuses on practical principles for building healthy relationships in general (family, friendships, dating, etc.). The second course is more advanced and presents practical tools for marriage and family relationships over the life cycle. Students must complete the ¢rst course and have advanced status to enroll. More than 1,000 upper-division students have completed this course. The relevance of these relationships courses to our marriage preparation model is readily apparent. A recent issue of American Demographics reported that two-thirds of today’s college students say that “having close relationships with other people isalways on their minds” and ranks highest as a “personal value” (Walker & Moses, 1996, p. 36). By tapping into this felt need, a rapport is established for those individuals that eventually become engaged to be married and, as a result of the course content, understand the need for quality preparation for marriage. In addition to the relationship development courses, CRD sponsors an ongoing mar-riage preparation model entitled Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS) and the more recent Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS-2) (Parrott & Parrott, 2006a, 2006b). Over the past decade, several thousand couples have participated in SYMBIS. A unique feature of this program includes the Marriage Mentor Club, which links newlyweds with a seasoned married couple throughout the ¢rst year of marriage. We believe deeply in the impact of preventive interventions on the permanence,intimacy, and satisfaction of marriage (see Berger & Hannah, 1999, for a summary of intervention models). Research has underscored a tendency for minor problems in marriage to escalate into major rifts if they are not addressed promptly. For example, it has been found that half of all serious marital problems develop in the ¢rst two years of marriage. The authors’ experiences in marriage and family therapy are consistent with this prognosis and have shaped their emphasis on treating marriages in their early phase.