Abstract
In consensually non-monogamous relationships there is an open agreement that one, both, or all individuals involved in a romantic relationship may also have other sexual and/or romantic partners. Research concerning consensual non-monogamy has grown recently but has just begun to determine how relationships amongst partners in consensually non-monogamous arrangements may vary. The current research examines this issue within one type of consensual non-monogamy, specifically polyamory, using a convenience sample of 1,308 self-identified polyamorous individuals who provided responses to various indices of relationship evaluation (e.g. acceptance, secrecy, investment size, satisfaction level, commitment level, relationship communication, and sexual frequency). Measures were compared between perceptions of two concurrent partners within each polyamorous relationship (i.e., primary and secondary partners). Participants reported less stigma as well as more investment, satisfaction, commitment and greater communication about the relationship with primary compared to secondary relationships, but a greater proportion of time on sexual activity with secondary compared to primary relationships. We discuss how these results inform our understanding of the unique costs and rewards of primary-secondary relationships in polyamory and suggest future directions based on these findings.
Highlights
While monogamy remains the most common romantic relationship arrangement in North America, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is prominent, with estimates derived from internet samples suggesting that approximately 4–5% of individuals are currently involved in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship [1], and other research suggesting that approximately one in five people have previously been a part of a CNM relationship at some point during their lifetime [2]
While stigma towards CNM has been documented at the general level, no research to this point has assessed how polyamorous individuals experience stigma in their relationships, and whether acceptance and secrecy was experienced in all relationships, or predicted by the status of the relationship
Our results reveal important differences across many theoretically relevant relationship variables in how people perceive primary compared to secondary partners
Summary
While monogamy remains the most common romantic relationship arrangement in North America, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is prominent, with estimates derived from internet samples suggesting that approximately 4–5% of individuals are currently involved in some form of consensually non-monogamous relationship [1], and other research suggesting that approximately one in five people have previously been a part of a CNM relationship at some point during their lifetime [2]. There were some important limitations, in their study: the number of individuals with two or more partners was small (e.g. n = 76) and the sample involved CNM participants without distinguishing among the different types of CNM In this case, the authors collapsed across the various forms of non-monogamy (i.e., swinging, open relationships, polyamory) without providing details about how many of these participants fell into each CNM category. While stigma towards CNM has been documented at the general level (i.e., that people typically favor monogamy), no research to this point has assessed how polyamorous individuals experience stigma in their relationships, and whether acceptance and secrecy was experienced in all relationships, or predicted by the status of the relationship (i.e., whether one is primary or secondary). We focus on acceptance and secrecy, investment and commitment processes, as well as communication about the relationship and sexual frequency across relationships
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