Abstract
In this reflective piece I contemplate the confusion I experienced as an Afroeuropean student aspiring to be an anthropologist. I borrow from a phenomenological approach to explore my feelings and experiences as I process my thoughts on my compatibility, as a racialized woman, with the discipline of anthropology. During my training in anthropology, I developed an uneasy sense of having an embodied bias, I doubted my capacity and felt fragmented. This experience led me to a process of questioning, both myself, and the discipline and the space where we come into contact with one another.
Highlights
In remembering my anthropological education, a few instances stand out that I felt to be confusing, unsettling and regretful on my part
In doing so I found support in theories and phenomenological perspectives that talk about emotions and personal experiences in ethnographic research (Ahmed 2012, 2014/2004; Brodkin et al, 2011; Barnett-Naghshineh & Pattathu, 2021; Doharty, 2020; River and Fire Collective, 2021; Makana, 2018; Todd, 2016; Smith, 2008/1999; Uperesa, 2010). They helped me to understand the value of my dual heritage and my own positionality in doing research. In writing this reflection of my anthropological education and sharing some of my experiences I attempt to ease the pain that the fracture of my anthropological self, caused me
My reflexivity helped me to unpack my sense of failure and direct it back to those moments
Summary
In remembering my anthropological education, a few instances stand out that I felt to be confusing, unsettling and regretful on my part. The anthropological enthusiasm of the jury upon revealing it as the winning photograph left me feeling confused and uncomfortable. They celebrated the image for its intimacy, and the way it invites the viewer to come close. This had me feeling uncomfortable and confused. The majority of anthropological courses I took seemed to overlook the possibility of a shared humanity Instead, they appeared to describe the habits and beliefs of people to be so distinct to that of the western mode. I recognise that there are multiple ways of being taught anthropology, and I understand there are versions in which there is space for people like myself
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