Letters without Words: Working with Adolescent with Severely Traumatized Parents

Abstract

ABSTRACT The ability of parents to mentalize, i.e. to recognize that their children are independent psychological beings with their own thoughts, desires and intentions that motivate their behavior, is of critical importance for healthy child development. Parents who have had traumatizing experiences are often preoccupied with their own self-regulation, with their frightening inner images and with ruptures in their self-experience, which can compromise their parenting. Trauma-associated self- and relationship regulation disorders are passed on via various “transmission belts.” Atmospheric moments, fantasies, feelings and thoughts of traumatized parents, the nature and quality of the relationship and specific interactions with their children, lead to the traumatic events manifesting themselves between the parents and their children. The trauma processes affect parents’ ability to mentalize and, as a result, their children are also unable to adequately develop their mentalization competences. Traumatized parents who remain silent about their history are particularly challenging for their adolescent children and their search for belonging and identity. Mentalization-oriented psychotherapists which integrate psychoanalytic concepts and approaches in their interventions in various settings (family sessions, work with parents, individual psychotherapy) can help to process and resolve transgenerational transmission processes. Two case studies illustrate the theoretical considerations.