Involvement without interference: How grandparents negotiate intergenerational expectations in relationships with grandchildren

Abstract

Grandparents play a key role in many families. Examining talk about grandparenting provides a way to understand expectations structured by family roles and wider societal expectations. In this study, 29 grandparents talked about their experiences of grandparenting in New Zealand Participants described the joys and wonder of grandparenting, however, boundaries must be continually negotiated or conflict can occur. Participants described governing their behaviour according to the need to balance connection with their grandchildren and the rights of their adult children to raise children in accordance with their own values. Grandparents constructed relationships with grandchildren as demonstrations of involvement without crossing boundaries into interference. To achieve this, the contemporary grandparent–grandchild relationship was described as based on caring and companionship. Tensions between involvement and interference provide a framework through which grandparents monitor and balance an appropriate level of interaction with grandchildren and may constrain their ability to intervene in family difficulties.