“I didn’t Even Realize I Agreed to Meet the Child so Rarely.” Negotiations and Parental Desires in LGBTQ Family Forming Processes

Sonja Anttila,Päivi Palojoki,Jaana Vuori,Hille Janhonen-Abruquah

doi:10.1177/0192513x211064862

Sonja Anttila, Päivi Palojoki + Show 2 more

Open Access

https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513x211064862

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Abstract

This study explores the negotiations taking place in LGBTQ families before a child is born or added to the family. It asks who takes part in the negotiations and what issues are negotiated about. An online questionnaire answered by LGBTQ parents (n = 74) was analyzed with qualitative content analysis. The chain of phases leading to having a child can be referred to as a family forming process with various negotiation topics. The four phases are identified as parental desires, consideration of practices, reflecting on the decision, and concrete actions toward having a child. Besides the LGBTQ parents-to-be, significant others such as friends and the family of origin and external others such as donors and fertility clinics took part in the negotiations. Future parents needed to think about their desires in advance to enable fair and equal negotiations.

Highlights

Previous studies have pointed out that having children in lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer families is a carefully considered (Cote & Lavoie, 2019) and planned process (Berkowitz & Marsiglio, 2007; Malmquist, 2015)
In order to understand more deeply the family forming process in LGBTQ families and its specific features related to negotiations, we explore it empirically in the Finnish context
The analysis focused on both manifest and latent content (Graneheim et al, 2017), as on the one hand, some aspects of the negotiations during family forming processes were visible and obvious, and on the other hand, some aspects were hidden in underlying meanings of the text

Summary

Introduction

Previous studies have pointed out that having children in lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer families ( referred to as LGBTQ families) is a carefully considered (Cote & Lavoie, 2019) and planned process (Berkowitz & Marsiglio, 2007; Malmquist, 2015). We analyze the negotiations between different parties in the family forming processes of LGBTQ families. The family forming process begins with an individual’s desire to have a child. Having children often requires one or more other co-parenting partners (Erera & Segal-Engelchin, 2014; Herbrand, 2018), donated gametes (Cote & Lavoie, 2019), and/or services from a fertility clinic (Pralat, 2018)

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