Forgiveness for a Partner’s Infidelity

Abstract

Abstract This chapter offers a brief treatment of infidelity as a major relational transgression and discusses several types of infidelity (i.e., sexual, emotional, communicative, and same-sex infidelity). It overviews numerous aspects of granting forgiveness, beginning with a summary of the various conceptualizations of forgiveness, including motivation-based, therapeutic, and communicative perspectives. The measurement of forgiveness is considered, including assessments of forgiveness at varying levels of specificity. Common correlates and predictors of granting forgiveness are identified, including dispositional, situational, physiological, physical, relationship, and social network considerations. Interventions that encourage forgiveness are presented, such as the decision-based model of forgiveness of marital infidelity and the integrative model of forgiveness. Cross-cultural similarities and differences with regard to the antecedents of forgiveness are acknowledged, although available research is limited primarily to Western cultures at this point. Typical strategies for communicating forgiveness to a transgressor are identified, including direct, indirect, and conditional tactics. The limited research on seeking forgiveness is also reviewed by way of an analysis of offender behavior that is most likely to elicit forgiveness (e.g., sincerely apologizing, displaying remorse, taking responsibility). Finally, the chapter concludes with a discussion of the consequences of forgiveness for both the forgiver and the offender, including physical, physiological, psychological, and relational outcomes. Attention is given to the potential dark side of forgiveness, such as exploitation risk for the forgiver, the possibility of prolonging an unhealthy relationship, and compromised extradyadic relationships with close friends and family members who disagree with the decision to forgive the offender.