Exploring the experiences of stigma among South African gay men who practice consensual nonmonogamy

Abstract

Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) refers to an intimate relationship arrangement in which all the parties involved consent to having multiple romantic or sexual partners simultaneously, with the full knowledge and agreement of everyone involved. Although CNM is becoming increasingly more visible in mainstream media and social discourse, it remains a largely non-normative relationship configuration that can elicit stigma directed at those who practice it. The culture of mononormativity, whereby monogamous relationships are held as the ideal or default way for people to structure their intimate connections, may imply that even in the gay community, where a history of openness towards, and experimentation with, alternative relationship configurations exists, affirmative attitudes towards CNM cannot be guaranteed. This qualitative study explored the experiences of stigma among South African gay men who practice CNM, with a particular focus on stigma reported by CNM practitioners from within the gay community. Seven self-identified gay men who practice CNM were recruited to participate. Each participant took part in an unstructured individual interview which was then transcribed and subject to a thematic analysis. Analysis of the data revealed three main themes: creating CNM as homonormative; interpersonal (in)significance of CNM, and stigmatising narratives of CNM. Together, the findings highlight that while gay men who practice CNM may experience stigma from within the gay community, they adopt different approaches at managing this stigma, such as, by constructing CNM as a cultural norm for gay men and by interpreting their participation in CNM as a personally meaningful and fulfilling alternative to monogamy.