Abstract
The unexpected death of a child is one of the most challenging losses as it fractures survivors’ sense of parenthood and other layers of identity. Given that not all the bereaved parents who have need for support respond well to available treatments and that many have little access to further intervention or follow-up over time, online interventions featuring therapeutic writing and peer support have strong potential. In this article we explore how a group of bereaved mothers experienced the process of participating in an online course in therapeutic writing for the integration of grief. Our research questions were: How do parents who have lost a child experience being part of an online course in therapeutic writing? What are the perceived benefits and challenges of writing in processing their grief? We followed an existential phenomenological approach and analyzed fieldwork notes (n = 13), qualitative data from the application and assessment surveys (n = 35; n = 21), excerpts from the journals of some participants (n = 3), and email correspondence with some participants (n = 5). We categorized the results in three meaning units: (1) where does my story begin? The “both and” of their silent chaos; (2) standing on the middle line: a pregnancy that does not end; (3) closures and openings: “careful optimism” and the need for community support. Participants experienced writing as an opportunity for self-exploration regarding their identities and their emotional world, as well as a means to develop and strengthen a bond with their children. They also experienced a sense of belonging, validation, and acceptance in the online group in a way that helped them make sense of their suffering. Online writing courses could be of benefit for bereaved parents who are grieving the unexpected death of a child, but do not replace other interventions such as psychotherapy. In addition to trauma and attachment informed models of grief, identity informed models with a developmental focus might enhance the impact of both low-threshold community interventions and more intensive clinical ones. Further studies and theoretical development in the area are needed, addressing dialogical notions such as the multivoicedness of the self.
Highlights
The unexpected death of a child is one of the most challenging losses as it fractures survivors’ sense of parenthood and other layers of identity
To the question of what kinds of topics they believed would be important for them to integrate their grief during the writing course, one participant wrote “Who am I/who will I become without my child.”
As we analyzed in the theme “a pregnancy that does not end,” the difference in this case is that the shadow trajectory becomes motherhood itself
Summary
The unexpected death of a child is one of the most challenging losses as it fractures survivors’ sense of parenthood and other layers of identity. The death of someone close to us involves a rupture not just in the flow of our lives, and in our sense of self, and new narratives of identity must be crafted (Neimeyer, 2001; Lengelle, 2021), a process which often elicits resistance (Stroebe and Schut, 1999) When it comes to the unexpected death of a child, worldwide, all-cause mortality of infants was reported to be 4.8 per 1000 live births in 2012, which is one of the latest reports available (Müller-Nordhorn et al, 2020). Even if the average death of children in Norway is lower compared to other countries, there are several bereaved families who are in need of support in this country and whom do not always receive the kind of support they need. This is so because bereaved persons are often treated for depression instead of grief, and more tailored treatments for grief symptomatology itself are to be developed and offered (Hansen et al, 2020)
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