Conceptualizing Couples Through Romantic Attachment and Love Language

Abstract

Attachment theory posits that relationships developed in childhood between children and their parents or caregivers, impact the manner in which later relationships are developed in adulthood. John Bowlby described various attachment styles within the child-caregiver relationship. Some of these attachment styles are viewed today through the lens of romantic attachment styles that include secure (content and healthy relationships), avoidant (dismissive and unengaged in relationships), and anxious (insecurities and fear in relationships). Couples romantic attachment could be better understood in conjunction with love languages. Love languages, developed by Gary Chapman, include words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, physical touch, receiving gifts, and acts of service. Applying love language techniques to mending insecure attachments, can lead to couples understanding of one another's needs, and improve relationship satisfaction. Thus, this article advocates for clinicians’ assessing romantic attachment and love languages in couples therapy, to promote stronger, affectionate, empathic, and satisifying relationships. Lay summary Understanding your partner's needs can improve relationship satisfaction in relationships. Insecure romantic attachments may be strengthened by speaking your partner's love language. This article advocates for clinicians to assess for romantic attachment and love languages in couples therapy.