Abstract

This brief commentary presents a satirical critique of New Public Management (NPM) practices in higher education, using a fictional university in Norway as a case study. Drawing parallels with Soviet-era production methods, we explore the implications of applying industrial management tactics to academic settings. Through a humorous lens, we discuss how such approaches can lead to a dilution of academic standards and integrity, evidenced by tactics such as lowering student assessment criteria to artificially boost pass rates and employing superficial methods to enhance institutional reputations. This analysis aims to provoke thoughtful reflection on current educational policies and their long-term impacts on academic quality, university governance, and policy formulation. We critically examine the metrics-driven approach to educational success and its consequences on teaching quality and academic freedom. By engaging with themes such as accountability in education, marketization of higher education, and the commodification of learning, this concise contribution invites a broader discussion on the sustainability of NPM strategies in nurturing genuine educational excellence.

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