Collateral Damage: The Lived Experiences of Divorced Mothers Without Custody

Abstract

This qualitative study utilizing narrative analysis and grounded theory examines the history and experiences of 14 Canadian women who have lost custody of their children within a legal divorce process. Each woman's storied experience focused on themes of attachment and loss associated with involuntary child absence, legal abuse within the adversarial system, and judgment based on nonconformity to a motherhood ideal; physical violence and emotional abuse in the family system; access denial and parental alienation; stigma and lack of support services; and serious financial losses. Women's perceptions of their children's needs in the divorce process, mothers' responsibilities in relation to those needs, and the responsibility of social institutions to support mothers as parents were also examined. The study sought mothers' views about needed changes to the legal framework of child custody determination and other priorities. Implications for socio-legal policy are discussed, including a consideration of a rebuttable legal shared parental responsibility presumption as facilitating the most salutary postdivorce outcomes for women and children, as are guidelines for direct service provision.