Building an Orthodox Marriage: A Practical Commentary on the Eastern Orthodox Marriage Rite by John Abdalah and Nicholas G. Mamey

Abstract

Reviewed by: Building an Orthodox Marriage: A Practical Commentary on the Eastern Orthodox Marriage Rite by John Abdalah and Nicholas G. Mamey Robert F. Slesinski John Abdalah and Nicholas G. Mamey Building an Orthodox Marriage: A Practical Commentary on the Eastern Orthodox Marriage Rite Yonkers, NY: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 2017 132 pages. Paperback. $16.00. The present work exemplifies mystagogical catechesis, as its primary source for shedding light on the sacramental mystery of holy matrimony is the marriage rite itself with its various moments and engaging prayers and texts. It is, thus, faithful to the venerable principle, lex orandi, lex credendi. The principal author, Bishop John Abdalah, is the Auxiliary Bishop of Worcester and New England in the Antiochian Orthodox Archdiocese and his collaborator is Nicholas G. Mamey, a master's graduate of the Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology. The work itself expands upon the bishop's dissertation of the same title written for his Doctor of Ministry degree from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary. It consists of four parts (chapters) and a brief appendix with a list of pertinent question to challenge couples preparing for marriage under the humorous title "Questions for Orthodox Courting or the Newlywed Game" (125-126). The book begins its first part with "A Theological Overview" (11-27) that itself sets its scope at extricating John the Evangelist's [End Page 222] deft definition of God: "God is love" (1 Jn 4:8). Existence and love, the authors stress, are inextricably linked together. Most insightfully, they declare: "There is no love outside of God, for 'God is love'" (1 Jn 4:8). And there is no existence outside of love, because God Is" (11). A fundamental metaphysical truth, thus, comes to the fore, namely, that love is an act of being and that human being thereby comes into its own only through love enabling it to partake not only of God's life, but that of our fellow humans too. A further truth also comes to the fore. The human being is necessarily a communal being, human nature essentially being relational, reflective as it is of the God who is, namely, a Triune God of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the Godhead effectively being a Commune of Love. As specifically applied to marriage, the authors again are most insightful, stating "in marriage we subjugate our will to that of God through our spouse" (19). The possible pastoral manifestations of this moral dimension of marriage are manifold, marriage itself not being a static, but a dynamic, ever-changing state. Part II is under the heading "Definitions" (29-64). First elaborated upon is the very kairos of sacramental marriage, the fact that "the marriage liturgy is more than a contract; it is a participation in a saving action of God" (31). After discussing the sacramental aspect of marriage, the authors go on to indicate the significance of various symbolic items linked with marriage like the rings, crowns, common cup, and the "dance of Isaiah." The rings intimate eternity of union, but the authors dwell specifically on their sign of commitment as readily garnered from numerous Old Testament and New Testament passages (37-49). As per the crowns, the authors rightfully state "the act of crowning is arguably the oldest symbol of the marriage service" (49). Indeed, the marriage service itself is also called the "Rite of Crowning." The crowns themselves convey meanings of championship, royalty, and martyrdom (51-58). In regard to the "common cup," standard Orthodox practice varies from that of the Catholic Church, be it Roman or Byzantine. Common Catholic practice calls for a nuptial liturgy, the [End Page 223] marriage ceremony—the Liturgy of the Word—being completed with the Liturgy of Sacrifice. Typically in Orthodox practice the Rite of Crowning is performed on Sunday afternoon, permitting the soon-to-be married to receive the Holy Eucharist before the marriage ceremony. What is the "why" of this? From a Catholic perspective an archaic understanding of sexuality is at stake. Communicants cannot receive Holy Communion after sexual relations; confession must be undergone first. In this light, a Catholic might legitimately opine that the Rite of the Common Cup—the partaking of one cup...