Being missed and missing: An interactional element of separation/individuation

Abstract

The intent of this paper is to demonstrate as a therapeutic use of self the selective communication of the therapist's own feelings as enabling a patient to experiencemissing. I focus here on work with a patient who urgently and primarily presented unmourned (unintegrated) separation and loss in her history, in her self and object relations, and thus in her relationship with me. I propose that the therapist's feelings, in so far as they reflect an interactional aspect of the normal separation/individuation process may serve as a basis for expressive, interactive participation by the therapist.