All we got was autumn. all we got was winter

Abstract

all we got was autumn. all we got was winter Tawanda Mulalu (bio) Keywords Tawanda, Mulalu, Botswana poet, morning, seasons, birds, poppies, bees nothing was fervent. nothing was budding. everything wasthe sickness and then my bed. everything was all midnight alltouching myself in dark corners hoping for release. constantlyfinding myself awake in mornings despite the persistenceof retreating. how to sleep forever without dying. how to sleep for-ever without depression. how to sleep forever but someone noticeslong enough to come and wake you into spring. then summer.then everything I wanted was the birds bothering me with alltheir muchness outside my window. everything was love, lovemy season and still the mother sicked herself to sleep with gasand she did not wake up. I remember her every day and pretenda love of both poppies and horses and bread and milk. how I missher. watch from the ashes and no one rises and how men continueto breathe this air. almost thankful for not being consumedbut to instead consume. almost thankful for my bones if not forthe fact of my back. depended on you. you depended on nothingbut pictures. would wish myself to end if not for the fact my lovefor the birds and the bees. wished myself into tears. somewhere elsean ocean roars I do not see it I do not hear it, I brush my teeth. [End Page 291] Tawanda Mulalu tawanda mulalu was born in Gaborone, Botswana, and is an inaugural member of the Brooklyn Poets Mentorship Program. He studied psychology and English at Harvard College, where he served as a Ledecky Fellow for Harvard Magazine and also as the first Diversity and Inclusion Chair of The Harvard Advocate. He has attended or received scholarships from the Community of Writers, the New York State Summer Writers Institute, and the Summer Program at the Iowa Writers' Workshop. His poems are published in HAD, Afternoon Visitor, Postscript, and elsewhere. He mains Ken. Copyright © 2021 The Massachusetts Review, Inc.