Dysphonia

Abstract

Dysphonia Jon William Stout (bio) I suppose the thrushes skittering about the yardSteeped in lilac in ways we calmly despiseAlso contain wet lingual rashes laid like cardsInterstitially arranged & with surprise, By which I mean I'm sorry, too, Father, you really areLosing your mind. We both seek outOdd term lexicon, knickknacks to scarBasic emotions, as if fibrosis will somehow Achieve complex harmony & crystal accuracy.I watched you slice tomatoes at the pace of . . .At the pace of . . . I look out the window, trees,Aspens, pitifully gathered. Oh okay, bradykinesia. I cut them for you, you turn on Jethro Tull.Something about innovation, flutes, rock, medi-Eval performances with Shakespearean skulls—I've never seen a body perform slow-diving Its own death before. You leave the roomTo weep, reminding me I've never seen you cry.Pathogenesis is nonetheless a spoonfulOf beginning, idiopathic maps, a jittery Herd &c.—Sure, I'll throw in the roast.You say, It's multiple system atrophy, you see?We walk Chloe, talk about the Pacific Coast,Parkland, Washington, about the disease, How it makes roads between mind & bodyTroublingly clear. Dopaminergic systems spitComplex happy while the basal ganglia seesNeural loss as one does loss itself—gilt [End Page 112] Beginnings, youth, debauchery, then sobriety,Guilt, wasted days, years, ruined marriages,Fealties turned faulty, the cumulonimbiWholly imaginary—the crashed carriage. Pull out the roast! I have to tell my legs to moveIn order to walk, my voice . . . dysphonia.We watch hockey, which is our provenBond. Their bodies carve gracefully on ice. [End Page 113] Jon William Stout Jon William Stout was born in Colorado and lived in Parkland, Washington, before moving to Iowa City. Jon received a BA from Pacific Lutheran University and an MFA from the Iowa Writers' Workshop. His poems have been published or are forthcoming in Prelude Magazine, Iowa Review Online, Omniverse, Poetry Is Dead, Tulane Review, Canada Quarterly, Horsethief, Lana Turner Journal, and elsewhere. His poetry chapbook, The Dream of Zukofsky, is a two-time finalist for the 2017 Omnidawn Chapbook Poetry Prize. He teaches Rhetoric at the University of Iowa in Iowa City. Copyright © 2018 Middlebury College