A new look at similarity and attraction in marriage: Similarities in social‐cognitive and communication skills as predictors of attraction and satisfaction

Abstract

Most research on the relationship between similarity and attraction has been informed by Byrne's (1971) effectance‐arousal model. This model maintains that similarities promote attraction because the discovery of similarities, particularly attitudinal similarities, is reinforcing. The current paper offers an alternative account of the similarity/attraction relationship distinct from the effectance‐arousal model both in the similarities it views as important and in the mechanism by which similarities influence attraction. Specifically, we propose that similarities in social‐cognitive and communication skills promote attraction by fostering enjoyable interactions. Aspects of this model are tested in a study comparing similarities in the social skills of married couples. Sixty couples completed a task yielding measures of three communication skills; the participants also completed questionnaires providing assessments of interpersonal cognitive complexity, marital adjustment, and liking for one's spouse. The ...