Four older men have taught me an important lesson. Of course, over the years I have heard many jokes about impotence in old age and am familiar with data on age-related changes in sexual functioning. But there is nothing more powerful than the stories of your patients. Mr. F. was a feisty 87-year-old gentleman whom I looked after in the Veterans Affairs (VA) outpatient clinic during my geriatric fellowship. He had a thick Italian accent, thicker glasses, severe kyphosis, and one of those old-fashioned two-part hearing aids with the little amplifier in his front shirt pocket and a wire traveling up to the earpiece. He looked like a strong breeze could easily topple him. We had just finished a lengthy discussion of his numerous chronic conditions and medications, and I thought that we were done. But as I was getting up to leave the room Mr. F. said, “Hey Doc, I gotta problem. My wife won't ‘put out’ for me any more. What can I do?” I was so surprised by his question that I couldn't give him a good answer. I had had virtually no experience counseling older patients on this delicate but essential issue. A few years later I met Mr. B., a 78-year-old diabetic who exhibited all of the vascular complications known to man, including an above-the-knee amputation. He had been admitted to a VA nursing home to receive wound care for a severe leg ulcer, with the hope of avoiding a second amputation. I happened to meet him during a unique educational experience making rounds with trainees and faculty from programs in geriatrics and urology. Mr. B. sat proudly in his motorized wheelchair in the middle of the nursing home conference room while I questioned him about his urinary symptoms. I inquired as to why he had an indwelling bladder catheter, what type of urinary symptoms he was experiencing, and how he felt about having the catheter. At the end of the interview I asked Mr. B. if he had any questions about the catheter. In his booming voice, in front of all 30 of us, he said, “Yea Doc, will this thing affect my ‘Nature’?” Once again, although by now a bit more mature, I was surprised by his question and uncertain as to how to address it. Almost a decade later, I met Mr. J., the 91-year-old husband of a well-preserved 89-year-old woman with severe dementia to whom he had been married for almost as long as I had been on this earth. Mrs. J. was referred to me for the evaluation of urinary incontinence, and I felt that atrophic vaginitis was an important contributing factor to her symptoms. I had just placed an estradiol ring in her vagina when Mr. J. entered the room. I explained what I had done, and the purpose of the vaginal ring. Stooped over his walker, his severe Parkinson's disease obvious, he slowly looked up at me and asked, in his barely audible, hypophonic voice, “I'm not so sure about this doc.”“What do you mean?” I asked. “Will that thing interfere with our intercourse?” Quite embarrassed by not having thought about this ahead of time, I acknowledged his concern and asked that he contact me if the vaginal ring caused a problem. And just recently, Mr. W., an 82-year-old man with severe congestive heart failure and inoperable musculoskeletal conditions in his spine and legs, referred himself to my continence clinic. It took me and two nursing assistants just to get him from his wheelchair onto the examining table. After a careful history and physical examination, we spent a long time discussing the options for his symptoms of prostatic enlargement and an overactive bladder. As I started to get up, he said: “One final question, Doc: Do you know where I can get some really absorbent bed pads? I'm planning on getting remarried soon, and you know I certainly don't want the sheets getting wet with my new wife sleeping next to me.” I shook his hand, congratulated him, and gave him a brand new incontinence care product catalog and the Website for the National Association for Continence. Geriatricians continue to debate the definition of frailty. As I myself have learned over the years from these four older men, it seems that despite the odds, you can't be too frail for love.