That is the big thing I have learned from this illness. The time is now, if you have people that you love and care about, you take that time. You have to live each day like you have a lifetime, and each day like you have just a short period of time. It's now, it's today. --Rosalie There are an estimated 1 million people living with HIV infection in the United States (Kalichman, 2000). As a result of new drug technologies, the life expectancy of these individuals has increased steadily (Kalichman, 2000; Trainor & Ezer, 2000). The transition from living with the HIV virus to dealing with AIDS, and the resultant physical and mental deterioration, brings numerous changes in the patient's lifestyle. Partners, friends, spouses, and other family members often become the primary caregiver for the person with AIDS, sometimes providing in-home care for 10 years or more (Kalichman, 2000; Richards, Acree, & Folkman, 1999). Research on nonprofessional caregivers has generally focused on parents or gay partners (Williams & Stafford, 1991). Heterosexual couples, however, represent a group with distinctive needs that are not always addressed in services oriented to gay couples. In a national survey of HIV-related mental health needs for persons with AIDS (PWAs), Lamping and Sachdev (1993) found several differences in the identified top concerns described by heterosexual and gay PWAs. Examples of top concerns reported by heterosexual PWAs, but not gay PWAs, include concerns about confidentiality; feelings of anger toward the health care system; and feelings of loneliness, isolation, and discrimination. Furthermore, compared with gay PWAs, heterosexual PWAs noted higher levels of distress associated with feeling rejected by others, problems accessing help, and telling others about their disease. Very little has been written specifically about heterosexual couples in which the partner is the primary caregiver for the PWA. The majority of case studies in the literature focus on the experiences of the PWA only (e.g., Gordon & Shontz, 1990), a limitation we sought to overcome in this study by interviewing not only a man with AIDS but also his wife, who was his full-time caregiver. This case study provides an illustration of this unique relationship and the special counseling needs that it creates. Depending on the stage of their illness, PWAs experience varying levels of stress. One of the most prevalent of these stressors is coping with changes in their social support system (Somlai & Heckman, 2000). There is evidence that many PWAs, because of their illness, are rejected by at least one family member, are abandoned by friends due to fear or discrimination, and/or lose their lovers (Crystal & Jackson, 1989). Some of the people in the PWAs' support system might also have AIDS and may die before the PWA, further reducing their available support (Bloom, 1997). PWAs and their caregivers often lose valuable social support due to the social stigma surrounding HIV transmission (Kalichman, 2000; Tross & Hirsch, 1988). Friends and family may become fearful of associating with individuals who have a disease perceived to be related to at-risk behavior. In fact, gay patients in gay communities, although marginalized, are usually more informed and have greater social support than heterosexual individuals living in communities in which AIDS is not as prevalent (Turner, Pearlin, & Mullan, 1998). An additional source of stress for PWAs is the cycle of sickness and health experienced with this illness (Kalichman, 2000). The cycle is often marked by periods of uncertainty, renewed hope, and readjustments (Trainor & Ezer, 2000). As time goes on, progressive loss of physical functioning creates an experience of multiple losses and an increasing need to ask for external help (Bloom, 1997; Holt, Houg, & Romano, 1999). The HIV replication process and adaptive qualities of the virus may require concurrent use of numerous medications to manage symptoms. …
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