The issue of wear failure in High-Pressure Abrasive Water Jet (HP-AWJ) nozzles is an unavoidable challenge, and studying methods to enhance and predict the effective lifetime of nozzles is worth deep exploration. This paper employs a CFD-DEM coupling numerical approach to investigate wear phenomena inside the HP-AWJ nozzle, aiming to capture the realistic particle wear and erosion failure issues at the focusing tube region, which is a high-wear area of the HP-AWJ nozzle. Furthermore, the study considers realistic particles and nozzle wall constitutive models, incorporating material properties into the physical model, and employs computer-aided design methods to reflect wear failure conditions at different time intervals in the inner wall of the focusing tube at the nozzle. The results demonstrate that the number of realistic particles and initial inlet velocity has no impact on the particle exit kinetic energy. However, the particle-wall restitution coefficient affects the average particle kinetic energy at the outlet in the AWJ nozzle. The equivalent model of the realistic particles reflects the influence of the particle roundness on particle kinetic energy, acceleration, and stress concentration variations in the nozzle. These variations further affect the particle erosion rate on the nozzle wall and the actual wear failure problems on the wall surface. Finally, by combining the proposed erosion and wear model, a representative erosion profile at the AWJ focusing tube location comparable to experimental results is obtained, and the wear depth of the focusing tube changing with time is also studied. The results and methodologies presented in this paper provide valuable guidance for controlling the effective service lifetime of the AWJ nozzle, improving machining efficiency, and extending the lifespan of the AWJ nozzle.