AbstractThis article examines contemporary efforts to control climate change through the lens of social systems theory, particularly by drawing comparisons to rain dances and shamanic rituals. It argues that modern climate control strategies bear functional similarities to archaic rituals aimed at influencing weather patterns, despite the absence of direct causality. Using Niklas Luhmann's concepts of autopoietic systems and functional equivalence, the article demonstrates that both historical and contemporary approaches to climate influence rely on blame‐shifting mechanisms and the social production of scapegoats, with failure often attributed not to the rituals or solutions themselves but to noncompliance or impurity among participants. The originality of this article lies in its application of social systems theory to link contemporary climate control strategies with ancient rituals, positioning them as functionally equivalent social phenomena. By drawing comparisons between shamanistic practices, corporate consulting, and global climate governance, the article provides a unique lens for understanding that the primary function of modern climate efforts may be to regulate social behaviour rather than achieving concrete natural environmental outcomes.