Mixed-orientation Marriages Research Articles

Sexual Complexity: A Comparison between Men and Women in a Sexual Minority Sample of Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We report here some of the results from an online survey of 1612 LGBTQ members and former members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (CJCLDS, Mormon). The data permitted an exploration of diversity—individual similarities and differences within and between the sexes. Men and women were compared with respect to sexual identity self-labeling and behavior (i.e., identity development, disclosure, activity), orientation change efforts, marital relationships, and psychosocial health—these variables in the context of their religious lives. More women than men self-identified in the bisexual range of the sexual attraction continuum. Both men and women had engaged in extensive effort to change their sexual orientation. Only about 4% of the respondents claimed that those efforts had been successful, and the claims were for outcomes other than an alteration in erotic feeling. In general, only those who identified as bisexual reported success in maintaining a mixed-orientation marriage and continuing activity in the church. For both men and women, measures of psychosocial and sexual health were higher for those in same-sex relationships and those disaffiliated from the church.

The Interplay of Infidelity, Sexuality, and Religiosity in the Discourse of Mixed-Orientation Marriages: A Discursive Psychological Analysis.

This research examines the complex interplay of religiosity, sexuality, and infidelity. We adopted a case study approach in this research, and discourse was made central to the analysis. There were two participants; both identified as homosexuals. One participant, Fahrin, is married while the other, Muzz, is divorced at the time of the interview. The participants were subjected to an in-depth, semi-structured interview to gauge their experiences, perceptions, opinions, beliefs, and thoughts on their sexuality, Islamic faith as well as relationship with their spouses. The data were then transcribed and analyzed using the Discursive Action Model (DAM) and Discursive Psychology (DP) frameworks. From the analysis, two overarching themes were identified. They are (1) the allocation of blame and accountability and (2) the participants’ attachment to their Islamic identity. The discussion then revolves around the societal role that pressures gay men to marry women and contextualizes the position of Islam on Homosexuality.

Sex life and sexuality among tongqi: doing gender and heterosexuality

The term tongqi refers to cisgender, heterosexual women who unwittingly marry non-straight men. In mainland China, their adverse social position and health have been the subject of concern. This study aims to broaden and diversify perceptions of the lived experiences of tongqi by focusing on sex and sexualities in mixed-orientation marriages. Four themes (lack of sexuality-related exploration before marriage, the unsatisfactory nature of marital sex life, the exercise of sexual agency, and increased self-awakening) were developed from observations of a tongqi online support group and 12 semi-structured interviews with members. Using inductive thematic analysis, findings reveal how heteronormativity oppresses and punishes both tongqi and their non-straight husbands. In most cases, husbands not ‘doing heterosexuality’ as expected were still found to be ‘doing gender’ in patriarchal ways, with wives’ subordinate status thereby being reinforced, making them more vulnerable. However, despite women’s sexual autonomy and agency being constrained by normative forces, some were able to navigate their conjugal relationships by practising sexual autonomy and agency within and outside their marriage.

Men in Mixed-Orientation Marriages in Contemporary China: Unpacking the Role of Heteronormativity and Patriarchy

This qualitative study based on 34 in-depth interviews (IDIs) with cis-gendered tongzhi (men who are attracted to men) critically explores the factors influencing their decisions to enter mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) in China. Theoretically, the study weaves together insights from queer and feminist theorizing and analyzes the role of heteronormativity and patriarchy, especially in relation to hegemonic masculine ideals, in the context of marriage norms in contemporary China. Our examination showcases the contradictory role heteronormativity and patriarchy play in simultaneously marginalizing and privileging these groups of men along the axes of sexual, gender, and lineage (inter-generational) hierarchies. It also underscores the continued role of filial piety norms. Overall, the study contributes to deepening our understanding of the complex nature of MOMs and discussions of MOMs as marriage fraud. We argue that examining these non-normative marriages furthers explication of the social structures underpinning gender and sexuality in a context of patriarchal marriage-normative societies.

“I did not know I was gay”: sexual identity development and fluidity among married tongzhi in China

This study aimed to analyse the life experiences of married tongzhi (defined here as men who are sexually attracted to men) in mixed-orientation marriages in mainland China. The study used a life course perspective to understand sexual identity development among tongzhi, born in the 1970s or thereabouts, in heterosexual marriage and rural China. The study focused on identifying the experiences of the 13 tongzhi participants. Using thematic analysis, we found sexual identity development was influenced by China’s historical and social context and, in particular, internal (e.g. internalised heteronormativity), informational (e.g. Internet), and cultural (e.g. family-oriented) factors. Some tongzhi did not follow an identity development trajectory as “out and proud” since their identities were embedded in the complexity of family life and social pressure, the invisibility of “gay circles”, and normative social roles. They chose instead to maintain their heteronormative marriages, while seeking to explore and fulfil their homoerotic desires. Implications are discussed for epistemology, methodology and advocacy.

‘I Married a Gay Man’: Tongqi’s Agency in Marital Decisions

Abstract There has been an increasing interest in the ‘tongqi phenomenon’ in China. The ‘tongqi phenomenon’ is usually described in research as mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs). Tongqi refers to a group of heterosexual women who unwittingly married non-straight men. While the literature on the ‘tongqi phenomenon’ has mainly focused on the adverse effects and victimisation on tongqi, this qualitative study aimed to understand how tongqi construct their reality/perplexity within a MOM on how they determined conjugal relationships after discovering their husband’s sexual orientation. We adopted the virtual ethnography method to conduct non-participant observation in the tongqi online support group, followed by fourteen semi-structured, in-depth interviews in China. Three main themes emerged via thematic analysis: maintaining the intact marriage, reframing their marriage and getting a divorce. Tongqi showed agency and resilience in understanding their marital situations, navigating resources and making marital life fit their reality. The practical implications for social work and future studies are discussed.

Rethinking the dichotomy of sexual identity and relational intimacies: Chinese gay men’s mental health in mixed-orientation marriages

ABSTRACT Very little research has examined the psychological adjustment of gay men in mixed-orientation marriages (MOMs) – a marital union wherein one spouse is a sexual minority person (e.g. gay/lesbian, bisexual) while the other is heterosexual. Examining gay men’s psychological adjustment in MOMs provides insights into how sexual identity intersects with relationship dynamics to shape mental health in heteronormative societies. Based on survey responses from 54 Chinese gay men in MOMs who simultaneously engage in a same-sex relationship occurring outside of marriages, the current exploratory study examined the relative contributions of marital relationship quality, same-sex relationship quality, and sexual identity to their psychological adjustment (i.e. depression, life satisfaction, and loneliness). Multiple regression analyses revealed that positive sexual identity was a significantly negative predictor of depression and loneliness and a significantly positive predictor of life satisfaction. Whereas marital relationship quality was significantly and positively associated with life satisfaction and negatively associated with loneliness, same-sex relationship quality was not a significant predictor of psychological adjustment. Results indicate that both sexual identity and marital relationship quality play important roles in the mental health of gay men in MOMs. Discussion focuses on the sociocultural contexts in China that in part shape gay men’s situations in MOMs.

Understanding Re-partnership in Non-normative Conjugality: Narratives of Gay Men in Odisha, India

Drawing on biographical narratives of two gay men in mixed-orientation marriage who have later gone on to establish re-partnership with another gay man, this paper seeks to critique the inherent heteronormativity in the discussion around re-partnership. It examines the consequential kinship dynamics among concerned social actors such as gay men, straight women, and their biological children, and their ongoing negotiations with the social institutions of marriage and family. Further, the discussion around re-partnership between two gay men in a Western context does not necessarily consider the alternative negotiations that characterize South Asian queer experiences. Borrowing from De Villiers’ concept of queer opacity (2012) and Jingshu Zhu’s (2017) ambivalence, the paper demonstrates that the kinning process of gay men in mixed-orientation marriage forging partnership with other gay men exists in a continuum. The boundary between what needs to be undone and what needs to be redone is porous, ambiguous, and interpenetrative. In that case, this paper suggests a non-Western framework to understand re-partnership in non-normative conjugality.

Relationship Status and Marital Intention Among Chinese Gay Men and Lesbians: The Influences of Minority Stress and Culture-Specific Stress.

Marriage and offspring play an essential role in mainland China, and most sexual minorities face enormous pressure to get married because of traditional culture. In Chinese Confucian culture society, gay men and lesbians experience culture-specific stress due to the conflict between same-sex attraction and conventional notions of filial piety and the morality perception of getting married. This study explored how minority stress and traditional culture-specific stress (i.e., perceived filial piety of getting married and the morality perception of mixed-orientation marriage) are related to relationship status and affect the intention to marry among gay men and lesbians in China. Participants (326 gay men and 168 lesbians) completed an online questionnaire that assessed minority stress (i.e., internalized homophobia, self-concealment), perceived filial piety of getting married, the morality perception of mixed-orientation marriage, relationship status, and marital intention. Results indicated that participants with high minority stress, who perceived getting married as filial piety, and who did not perceive mixed-orientation marriage as immoral were more likely to be in an opposite-sex relationship or have a greater intention to marry than were their counterparts. Culture-specific stress had a stronger impact on marital intention for gay participants than for lesbians. Minority stress facilitated the influences of culture-specific stress on marital intention. The findings indicated that both minority stress and culture-specific stress shape the marital intention among Chinese gay men and lesbians, and minority stress has more extensive influences on marital intention than culture-specific stress.

Stigma, Anxiety, and Depression Among Gay and Bisexual Men in Mixed-Orientation Marriages.

The mental health of gay and bisexual men in mixed-orientation marriages is poorly understood. In this article, the authors explore the development of anxiety and depression among gay and bisexual men in heterosexual marriages. Sixteen men, living in the Australian states of New South Wales, Queensland, Victoria, and Tasmania were interviewed throughout 2016 and 2017. An analysis of interviews identified four main themes, namely, compulsory heterosexuality, existential distress, compartmentalization, and integration and resolution. Participants reported experiencing anxiety and depression, which were exacerbated by the stigmatization of same-sex attraction and by an overwhelming distress from feelings of shame and guilt regarding their marital infidelity. Findings indicate that gay and bisexual men in mixed-orientation marriages develop anxiety and depression in response to the exigencies of compulsory heterosexuality and the compartmentalizing of same-sex attraction and identity during heterosexual marriage. Coming-out as same-sex attracted resolved men's distress by facilitating an integrative self-structure.

Mixed-Orientation Marriages: An Analysis on Heterosexual Wife Legal Redress in Malaysia

Mixed orientation marriages refers to marriages involving a partner who is gay or lesbian while the other partner may be heterosexuals or bi-sexual as well. Parties to such marriage are men and women who are gender fluid or transgender who wish to maintain their relationship that exist before or after the existing marriage commenced. In United States of America, there are as many as three million of such marriages – perhaps even more. Homosexuality or bisexuality is illegal in Malaysia and thus, the existence of mixed orientation marriage in Malaysia often hide behind a normal marriage. It has been difficult to quantify such marriage unless the courts that handle divorce matters identified such grounds to these divorces. Plus, mixed orientation marriage is an oppression towards the wives who are heterosexual. This paper will dwell on; (a) the definition of mixed-orientation marriage; (b) the factors that cause a bisexual husband to pursue a marriage with a heterosexual wife without her knowing of the fact ; (c) to find out the effects of such relationships to a heterosexual spouse in terms of her health, emotion and psychological impacts; (d) To identify the legal redress on heterosexual wife and her rights in such marriage; and (e) to analyse some strategies and the legal remedies available to deal with such kind of marriages, which denied the vary basis of contractual relationship acknowledge by civil and sharia marriages laws in Malaysia.

Same- and Other-Sex Aversion and Attraction as Important Correlates of Quality and Outcomes of Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriages

ABSTRACTMany studies have assessed characteristics of mixed-orientation marriages (MOM), unions between a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer/questioning (GLBQ) partner and a heterosexual spouse. In this study, experiences of physical and emotional other-sex attraction versus aversion were posited as important factors with implications for relationship outcomes. One-hundred-sixty-five GLBQ identifying individuals who were currently or formerly in MOMs and were currently or formerly members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS, Mormon) completed a measure of physical and emotional same- and other-sex attraction and aversion, as well as the Revised Dyadic Adjustment Scale. Divorced or separated participants reported more other-sex physical aversion, physical aversion to the spouse, other-sex emotional aversion, same-sex emotional attraction, and less emotional attraction to the spouse. Higher other-sex attraction and attraction to the spouse were associated with better relationship quality for both men and women in intact marriages. For men only, same-sex attraction was related to worse marital relationship quality, and religiosity was moderately to strongly related to most indices of attraction/aversion. Interview data obtained from a subsample of participants further explored the unique challenges experienced by partners in their efforts to develop and maintain intimacy in MOMs.

The Myth of Openness and Secrecy in Intimate Relationships: The Case of Spouses of Mixed-Orientation Marriage

ABSTRACTThe phenomenon of mixed-orientation marriages, in which one of the partners is straight and the other is non-straight, is invisible, yet not insignificant. Focusing on gay and bisexual men who are married to straight women, this article was designed to explore one of the essential themes in their relationship: the dynamics between secrecy and openness regarding the men’s sexual orientation and gay practices. Based on the phenomenological paradigm, 38 men and eight women of mixed-orientation marriages in Israel were interviewed and shared their subjective life reality. Six patterns of secrecy and openness were identified, including complete secrecy, conspiracy of silence, initiated concealment (of the husband and wife), disloyalty/violation of the agreement, selective sharing, and complete openness. The findings challenge the idea that secrecy is detrimental and openness is beneficial in the context of mixed-orientation marriages. Findings are discussed within the framework of the dialectical approach.

From MOM to MORE: Emerging Research on Mixed Orientation Relationships

Mixed orientation relationships (MOREs) refer to persons in a relationship whose sexual orientations do not match. To date, however, most literature on MOREs has focused somewhat narrowly on mixed orientation marriages (MOMs), in which one spouse is heterosexual and the other experiences same-sex attraction and may or may not identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. This review focuses on 14 recently published scholarly articles, noting an emerging shift in the literature from MOMs to the more broad and inclusive concept of MOREs. Relationship factors, the influence of religious identity, lesbian and bisexual female partners, intentional MOREs, and clinical practice issues are discussed. Further research on MOREs that looks beyond the traditional viewpoint of MOMs is needed in order to better understand the particular challenges, as well as the unique resiliency factors, seen within these non-traditional relationships.

Queer People Who Enter ‘Straight’ Marriages: The Academic Community's Struggle to Understand an Anomalous Choice

ABSTRACTSince the early 1970s, the academic community has shown a good deal of interest in the motives of people who are sexually and romantically attracted to persons of their own gender but marry other-gendered partners. Despite more than 60 scholarly papers on the question over the past four decades, however, the current academic conversation has moved little since the early 1970s. The authors analyzed 66 scholarly works published between 1969 and 2012 that discussed gay- and bi-identified people's reasons for entering mixed-orientation marriages (marriage between a man and a woman, when one does and the other does not identify as heterosexual). Although the empirical literature consistently supports the importance of love for the other-gendered spouse, most authors have minimized this motive and emphasized the importance of negative motives related to the costs of being identified as gay (e.g., to hide, deny, or cure one's nonstraight sexual orientation). The authors argue that this distortion of the data stems from scholars’ unquestioned assumption of dominant cultural scripts regarding desire, love, and marriage. An essentialist understanding of sexual orientation, joined with a romantic view of marriage and a dyadic/monogamist view of romantic love, have rendered the frequently reported love of the queer spouse for the other-sexed partner problematical and ‘anomalous.’ The authors examine some of the strategies that have been used to minimize discrepant data and suggest alternate strategies to facilitate open academic inquiry into sexual phenomena that are ‘anomalous’ from the perspective of dominant cultural paradigms.

Mormon Mixed-Orientation Marriages: Variations in Attitudes and Experiences by Sexual Orientation and Current Relationship Status

ABSTRACTInterest in mixed-orientation marriages has been growing among both scholars and the general public. Members of conservative religions such as Mormonism may be particularly willing to enter a mixed-orientation marriage given the faith's emphasis on heteronormativity. Analyzing survey data from a sample of sexual minorities (n = 160) and heterosexuals (n = 80) who are or have been Mormon and in a mixed-orientation marriage, we explore variations in reasons for marriage, the disclosure experience, and levels of attraction and attitudes toward sex by current relationship status. Previously married sexual-minority individuals report more external pressure and belief their same-sex attraction might change as reasons to marry, as well as less desire for their spouses following disclosure. Currently married sexual-minority partners are less likely to report being counseled to marry, and report feeling more relief, approval, and desire in their relationship following disclosure. Currently married heterosexual spouses are more likely to report spiritual confirmation as a reason to marry, as well as more affection for and greater attraction to spouses, but also report feeling less secure about their attractiveness following disclosure. Previously married heterosexual individuals report the most negative feelings following disclosure, and stronger attitudes about the importance of sharing similar sexual interests, desire, and levels of attraction.

One But Not the Only: Reconfiguring Intimacy in Multiple Partner Relationships

The romantic love ideology that permeates our culture, shapes marriages, and structures perceptions of what love should be frames the ideal intimate relationship as a (heterosexual) bond in which “one and only soulmates” share an intense emotional closeness and sexual attraction in committed monogamy. In this framework, sexual fidelity and exclusivity serve as markers of shared trust and uniqueness, making these facets of idealized romantic love perhaps the most central and important defining characteristics of such relationships. Multiple partner intimacies can thus pose significant challenges to relationships and notions of romantic love. Drawing on in-depth interviews with 55 people who are either in mixed orientation marriages or polyamorous relationships, this study examines how couples negotiate marital situations in which one or both spouses have extramarital lovers. These negotiations reveal how and why some participants could reconfigure aspects of romantic love so that being the “one” no longer required being the “only.” These reconfigurations highlight the links between the romantic love ideology and traditional gendered power dynamics, illustrating how multiple partner intimacies may have the potential to challenge hegemonic gender and sexual ideals.

The desires that were denied: (Re-) construction of sexual identity in middle adulthood.

Many men who entered adulthood in the 1970’s through 2000 experienced sexual desire for other men in their adolescence, but did not integrate this experience into their identities. After forming heterosexual identities and entering heterosexual marriages, some experience a re-emergence of same-sex desire in midlife. We examine posts to three online groups for such men in “mixed-orientation marriages” to describe the ways in which the inadequacies of available cultural scripts for sexual orientation impede their ability to re-integrate their samesex desire into their adult identities. We also suggest that the men who can make use of advanced forms of adult cognition are better equipped to transcend the limitations of cultural scripts and form a more coherent and inclusive adult identity.

Experiences of the Marital Relationship among Orthodox Jewish Gay Men in Mixed-Orientation Marriages

This qualitative study describes the marital relationship experiences of Orthodox Jewish gay men in mixed-orientation marriages. In-depth interviews were conducted with 21 men from the northeastern part of North America about their experiences of being gay in their Orthodox religious communities. Spontaneous accounts of their experiences within the marital relationship were reported by all participants. A content analysis revealed four primary themes: reasons for getting married, the role of the Orthodox community in sustaining the marriage, quality of the marital relationship, and the impact of homosexuality on the marital relationship. Findings suggest that religion and the Orthodox community play a major role in gay Orthodox Jewish men's decision to marry and in sustaining the marriage. In addition, findings suggest that the marital relationship is experienced as a task-centered teamwork and not as a source of support and intimacy. Finally, although rarely discussed in the relationship, their sexual orientation greatly influences these men's attitudes, behaviors, and feelings toward their wives.

Psychosocial Correlates of Religious Approaches to Same-Sex Attraction: A Mormon Perspective

This study examined the psychosocial correlates of following various church-based approaches for dealing with same-sex attraction, based on a large sample (1,612) of same-sex attracted current and former members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS, or Mormon). Overall, this study found that biologically based views about the etiology of same-sex attraction (vs. psychosocial views), LDS church disaffiliation (vs. activity), sexual activity (vs. celibacy), and legal same-sex marriage (vs. remaining single or mixed-orientation marriage) were all associated with significantly higher levels of self-esteem and quality of life, and lower levels of internalized homophobia, sexual identity distress, and depression. The divorce rate for mixed-orientation marriages was 51% at the time of survey completion, with projections suggesting an eventual divorce rate of 69%.