Abstract Background Early childhood is an important period of language development, especially oral development. The language stimulation received by children during this period will form the continuity of their subsequent language development, and correspondingly affect the development of children's thinking, communication and cognitive ability. The language stimulation received by children during this period will form the continuity of their subsequent language development, and correspondingly affect the development of children's thinking, communication and cognitive ability. From the perspective of children's language learning psychology, they have a lot of expectations for the guiding role of teachers. However, the actual situation shows that in children's language learning activities, the role of teachers' promoters is seriously lacking, which is manifested in Teachers' low awareness of language purpose, lack of awareness of guiding communication, lack of support for children's experience and emotion, lack of demonstration and guidance and so on. Therefore, it is necessary to explore the changes of teachers' leadership role on children's language, emotion and behavior. Participants and methods 100 preschool teachers from 15 kindergartens in Anyang City, Henan Province were observed, analyzed and interviewed by means of questionnaire and in-depth interview. According to the first-hand data collected by questionnaire survey and in-depth interview, the corresponding index system is established to study the correlation between children's language learning psychology and the effectiveness of teacher guidance and its impact on children's emotion. Results This study found that the fundamental reason for the lack of “guidance” in Teachers' language representation is that kindergarten teachers lack an accurate and profound understanding of the meaning of “guidance” and do not pay enough attention to teachers' professional language., And lack of enough motivation to improve their language literacy. At the same time, we analyzed the correlation between children's emotional regulation ability and healthy behavior. The results show that through the investigation of the impact of emotional behavior, there is a significant positive correlation between teachers' guidance and their emotional regulation ability (P < 0.01), indicating that the higher the degree of guidance, the stronger the teachers' emotional regulation ability. Emotional regulation. At the same time, the study found that the process of cognitive reappraisal is similar to epiphany problem solving. Both of them need children to re understand the problem situation in order to better explain the event. Epiphany refers to the sudden emergence of new ideas and new ideas due to an opportunity when a problem can't be solved. The representation transformation theory of insight believes that the solution of insight problem requires individuals to change the inappropriate initial representation of the problem, and establish a new and appropriate problem representation through the reconstruction of the problem, so as to solve the problem. Epiphany is a core component of the creative process. From the perspective of cognitive psychology, Epiphany involves the reconstruction of problem situation, and cognitive reconstruction is the essential feature of epiphany. There are three main factors in cognitive reconstruction: distraction refocusing, cognitive reappraisal and constructive refocusing. Distraction refocusing refers to individuals thinking about other things, preferably positive things, without keeping in touch with emotional stimuli or events; Cognitive reappraisal refers to the change of emotion by changing the evaluation of events or situations that trigger individual emotion; Constructive refocusing refers to trying to change, redefine or explain the factual characteristics of an event, such as what behavior we choose? What has happened? What can you learn from it? Instead of explaining the situation. As one of the three factors of cognitive reconstruction, cognitive reappraisal has the characteristics of creative reconstruction. Conclusion In view of the above problems, we propose an effective expression of teachers' “guidance” based on “children's position”: pay attention to children's learning needs and speech level, and guide children to express their emotions completely and accurately; Pave the way for communication and guide children to express freely and easily in aesthetic experience; Improve the mother tongue quality of kindergarten teachers and guide children to express love in the family. Preschool teachers' guidance on children's language development includes respect and care for children, mastering the law of mother tongue learning, and the value orientation of aesthetics, pleasure, motivation and communication. It can be seen that preschool teachers' guiding language is not a simple skill, but the external embodiment of internal emotion and language accumulation. This is the natural externalization of rich mother tongue literacy. Therefore, to fulfill the guiding responsibility of children's language development, preschool teachers should not only study the law of children's language learning, pay attention to children's learning and aesthetic psychology, and pay attention to the professional requirements of teachers' language, but also pay attention to improving their mother tongue literacy and reflecting on their own teaching language.