The application of virtual synchronous generator (VSG) control in flywheel energy storage systems (FESS) is an effective solution for addressing the challenges related to reduced inertia and inadequate power supply in microgrids. Considering the significant variations among individual units within a flywheel array and the poor frequency regulation performance under conventional control approaches, this paper proposes an adaptive VSG control strategy for a flywheel energy storage array (FESA). First, by leveraging the FESA model, a variable acceleration factor is integrated into the speed-balance control strategy to effectively achieve better state of charge (SOC) equalization across units. Furthermore, energy control with a dead zone is introduced to prevent SOC of the FESA from exceeding the limit. The dead zone parameter is designed based on the SOC warning intervals of the flywheel array to mitigate its impact on regular operation. In addition, VSG technology is applied for the grid-connected control of the FESA, and the damping characteristic of the VSG is decoupled from the primary frequency regulation through power differential feedback. This ensures optimal dynamic performance while reducing the need for frequent involvement in frequency regulation. Subsequently, a parameter design method is developed through a small-signal stability analysis. Consequently, considering the SOC of the FESA, an adaptive control strategy for the inertia damping and the P/ω droop coefficient of the VSG control is proposed to optimize the grid support services of the FESA. Finally, the effectiveness of the proposed control methods is demonstrated through electromagnetic transient simulations using MATLAB/Simulink.