I Do But I Don't: Walking Down the Aisle Without Losing Your Mind. Kamy Wicoff. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press. 2006. 310 pp. ISBN 0-7382-1012-9. $22.95. (cloth) Kamy Wicoff s book is both a personal memoir and a feminist critique of the expensive and still highly gendered rituals associated with getting married. Memories of her own 2000 wedding are the book's centerpiece, but Wicoff employs a variety of sources to evaluate those experiences critically and place them within a larger social context. Etiquette guides, selfhelp literature, press coverage of current wedding trends, survey responses from more than 80 recent brides, and the works of other feminist authors help Wicoff reach the conclusion that she is a bride of 'the true sandwich generation': ... sandwiched between the feminist revolutions of the 1960s and 1970s ... and the reality that women-particularly when it comes to marriage and relationships-still find their freedom, entitlement, and power curtailed considerably (p. 7). Wicoff acknowledges that she was at odds with her feminist heritage from the moment she and her boyfriend Andrew contemplated engagement. As the daughter of a baby boomer feminist, Wicoff grew up discussing gender politics at home. She was surprised, therefore, when both she and her mother agonized over Andrew's initial failure to enact an oldfashioned patriarchal ritual: the offer of a formal proposal and diamond engagement ring. And once Wicoff finally had her proposal and diamond in hand, she found she wanted everything else that the bridal magazines, television programs, and Internet sites, said should be part of a contemporary wedding: a Vera Wang gown, a professional wedding consultant, and a bachelorette celebration that included x-rated party favors. Pooling resources with her fiance, parents, and future in-laws, Wicoff literally bought every stage of the commercialized wedding experience. The ceremony itself became a nine-bridesmaid extravaganza on a Colorado mountaintop with a former U.S. congressman presiding. At the time, Wicoff reconciled her feminist politics with her desire for a mega wedding by arguing that feminism was about a woman's freedom to choose how she enacted her femininity. Six years later, however, Wicoff concludes that the choice to hold a lavish wedding is really no choice at all for high-achieving women of the 21st century. With the wedding industry and the media constantly portraying an elaborate wedding as the only acceptable way to launch a marriage, most women who have the necessary resources unthinkingly conform. Now older and wiser, Wicoff counsels that weddings should better reflect the values and circumstances of the couple marrying. Looking back, Wicoff sees that wearing a White gown and being given away by her father did not accurately portray who she was-a Columbia University graduate student in her late 20s who was already living with her groom. …