ABSTRACT This paper explores the interplay between romantic family imaginaries and asexual identity-making through the agentic negotiation of pragmatic trade-offs. Romantic family imaginaries refer to ideational and aspirational aspects of idealized romantic relationships that mark them as chosen family and engender associated feelings of security and normalcy. I analysed idiographic case studies (chosen from a larger sample of 44 interviewees) of two interviewees with asexual tendencies, romantic family aspirations, and ambivalence towards asexual identification. Romantic family imaginaries accentuated ambiguities in how my interviewees experienced and labelled their asexual feelings. Extending ideas about pragmatism explored within family studies and queer Singapore studies, this research conceptually proposes two ways through which pragmatic negotiation may take place: the deployment of provisional and prospective identities. Provisional identities affirm ambiguity by tethering themselves to ongoing relationships that live out family imaginaries. Prospective identities affirm ambiguity by qualifying themselves in relation to future unknowns. Examining these trade-offs reveals how romantic and sexual normativity, usually thought to be allied, may sometimes be situationally opposed.
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