The experiences of trauma, displacement, and forced migration faced by refugees raise profound questions about the relationship of self and community. This article explores some ways in which the intrapsychic dynamics of refugees' suffering and remembering interact with the larger social dynamics of refugee communities and host societies. The narrative construction of the self constitutes the pivot between the realms of the social and the psychological and rests on cultural meta-narratives. In Euro-American folk psychology two of the meta-narratives or concepts of the self can be compared in terms of their root metaphors: the adamantine self, characterized by its integrity, coherence, autonomy, self-definition, self-determination and self-control; and the transactional self, characterized by its fluidity, sensitivity to context, deference to authority, multivocality, deference and yielding to or accommodating others. These two accounts of the self shape how we view people who have suffered wrenching transformations of their worlds through violence, dislocation and loss. The changes produced through the therapeutic process can be understood as the development of a form of dialogue that is at once, within and without, personal and transcendental, rooted in communal tradition and in the open confrontation of the face of the other. The ethics of storytelling has its necessary counterpart in the ethics of listening, of witnessing and taking part in the creation of community through copresence.