ABSTRACT Drawing upon long-term ethnographic research, this article examines the interlinking processes of “self-searching” (jibun sagashi) and sign language acquisition among deaf and hard-of-hearing (DHH) Japanese youth, together with the role of friendships. At the center of this study are self-identified “inte” (short for “integration”): DHH youth ages 18 to 24 who were educated in mainstream schools. Schools for the deaf have been positioned as one of the “pillars” of deaf communities around the world, playing an important role in transmitting language and culture while providing spaces for belonging. These schools are perceived by many DHH people as sites of inclusion, sameness, and mutually intelligible communication. Japan is part of an international trend toward educating children with disabilities in mainstream settings. Despite being the norm in Japan, the long-term effects of educating DHH in mainstream schools are poorly understood. This study reveals that these spaces are often marked by isolation, difference, and barriers. By focusing on tōjisha (the person in question) rather than gatekeepers (educators, parents, policy makers), this article illustrates how Sign language (shuwa) and DHH peers are essential factors in the formation of positive deaf youth selfhood. As inte move between the hearing, spoken-language world they were raised in, and a new deaf world with an unknown visual-spatial language, they work to reconcile internalized stigma with a desire to create social bonds through friendships as they (re)negotiate selfhood and redefine deafness. Friendships based on “shared difference” are shown to help mitigate the assimilative pressures facing marginalized youth in Japan.