Consensually Non-monogamous Research Articles

Exploring Compersion: A Study on Polish Consensually Non-Monogamous Individuals and Adaptation of the COMPERSe Questionnaire

Compersion is a positive emotion experienced in relation to one’s partner’s relationship(s) with other partner(s). Experiencing it is highly desired in communities practicing consensual non-monogamy (CNM), especially polyamory. This article presents the results of a study on compersion on Polish CNM individuals. The main goal of the study was to adapt to the Polish-speaking population the COMPERSe (Classifying Our Metamour/Partner Emotional Response Scale; Flicker et al., 2021), the first standardized quantitative scale designed to measure compersion. The analyses were performed on data obtained from 211 individuals in CNM relationships and on a comparative group of 169 people in monogamous relationships. The results of the confirmatory factor analyses suggested that the three-factor model of the original COMPERSe version did not fit well, leading to further revisions that resulted in a 7-item, two-factor solution with excellent fit, excellent internal consistency, strong divergent and convergent validity, and excellent test–retest stability. The CNM individuals were found to have higher scores on compersion and cognitive empathy and were also less jealous than the monogamous participants. Furthermore, polyamorous individuals experienced more compersion and less aversion to partner’s autonomy than people in open relationships. It was also revealed that compersion indirectly predicted relationship satisfaction by decreasing jealousy and that compersion was, in turn, predicted by cognitive empathy. However, when polyamorous and open relationships were analyzed separately, compersion predicted relationship satisfaction directly, but only in polyamorous relationships; meanwhile, in open relationships, satisfaction was directly predicted by cognitive empathy.

Relationship experiences of transgender and non-binary adults: exploring dating goals, relationship structures, minority stress, sexual fetishization, and relationship victimization

Objective Here we investigate the relationship experiences of TNB individuals, with a particular focus on (1) relationship status and structure; (2) dating motivations and dating app use; (3) minority stress in relational contexts, including rates and experiences of fetishization, and minority stress-related difficulties in relationship formation and maintenance; (4) rates of relationship violence, victimization, and online harassment; and (5) relationship outcomes, namely sexual and relationship satisfaction. Method 316 TNB adults (M age = 26.84 years, SD = 7.47) completed a survey to assess their relationship experiences. Results Just over half the sample was in a romantic relationship; 68% were monogamous and 32% were consensually non-monogamous (CNM). Almost 75% of partnered individuals were satisfied in their relationship, and neither sexual nor relationship satisfaction differed by gender or relationship structure (monogamous vs. CNM). The highest rated motivation for dating was to find a love relationship, and the lowest rated motivation was for casual sex. Almost 70% reported difficulties finding a partner because of their gender identity or expression, and 63% reported having experienced fetishization. Compared with men and non-binary individuals, rates of fetishization were highest for women. Finally, high rates of online and in-person victimization were found, including verbal abuse (52%), sexual coercion (44%) and physical violence (34%). Conclusion Results provide new evidence about the relationship experiences of TNB adults. Results suggest that many TNB individuals form and maintain satisfying relationships, but also face significant minority stress-related challenges in relational contexts. More research into relationship interventions to better support TNB individuals is warranted.

Examining the Role of Mononormative Beliefs, Stigma, and Internalized Consensual Non-Monogamy Negativity for Dehumanization.

Interest in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships has been increasing in the general population in recent years. However, given the cultural dominance of monogamy and the normative expectations often imposed through socialization (i.e., mononormativity), people in CNM relationships may experience negativity, which can become internalized and harm their individual and relationship health. The present study investigated if mononormativity beliefs and CNM relationship stigma were associated with more dehumanization and if internalized CNM negativity was an underlying mechanism for these associations. Results showed that participants who endorsed more mononormative beliefs and CNM relationship stigma also reported more internalized CNM negativity. In turn, participants who experienced more internalized CNM negativity attributed more negative (vs. positive) emotions to themselves and treated their partners as more immature, unrefined, exploitable, and emotionless. These results show that mononormativity and internalized negativity can shape the attitudes, perceptions, and behaviors of CNM individuals toward themselves and their partners.

A Narrative Review of the Dichotomy Between the Social Views of Non-Monogamy and the Experiences of Consensual Non-Monogamous People

Monogamy is deeply rooted in most Western societies, shaping how people construe and behave in romantic relationships. These normative views facilitate the emergence of negative perceptions and evaluations when people choose not to adhere to mononormativity. Even though people in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization, research shows a dichotomy between these negative views and the relational experiences of CNM people. Indeed, people in CNM and monogamous relationships have comparable relationship functioning and quality and struggle with similar relationship problems. One of the differences is that CNM relationships afford people to explore their sexuality and fulfill their needs with multiple partners, without agreed-upon extradyadic behavior being perceived as infidelity or having deleterious consequences to relationship maintenance. These positive experiences notwithstanding, CNM people are continuously pressured by mononormativity and stigmatization, increasing the risk of internalized CNM negativity and worse personal and relational outcomes. One possible way to counteract CNM stigmatization and improve the lives of CNM people is by changing discourses surrounding non-monogamy and improving acceptance, not only in professional settings but also in the general population. Another strategy is to understand how the relationship beliefs and scripts of younger generations can help promote more inclusive and diverse societies.

Your Happiness Is My Happiness: Predicting Positive Feelings for a Partner's Consensual Extra-Dyadic Intimate Relations.

This quantitative study tested hypotheses derived from a previous qualitative study of the factors that facilitated and hindered compersion (the positive feelings derived from one's partner's intimate relations with others) in consensually non-monogamous (CNM) relationships. A total of 255 participants recruited from online CNM and Alt-Sex communities reported on demographic and relationship characteristics as well as individual, relationship, and metamour-related variables in an online anonymous survey. In Flicker et al. (2022), we identified various factors that predicted three subtypes of compersion: contentment with one's partner's relationships with established metamours (intimate partners of one's partners), excitement sparked by one's partner's new/potentially new intimate connections, and sexual excitement elicited by thinking about one's partner with another person. The current findings were consistent with the Flicker et al. qualitative study, with some hypotheses from the previous study more strongly supported than others. The predictors of compersion most strongly supported by the current data include closeness with one's metamour and knowledge about the partner/metamour relationship, in a positive direction, as well as jealousy, envy, and attachment anxiety, in a negative direction. Individual-level predictors were weak predictors of compersion. The sexual arousal subtype of compersion was weakly endorsed by the current sample and predictors of this subtype were distinct from predictors of the other subtypes of compersion. The findings suggest that the development of new interventions that target reducing jealousy and envy and increasing attachment security within the unique context of CNM relationships could have the added benefit of increasing compersion. The development of these interventions stands to benefit a growing population of individuals involved in CNM relationships.

Room for Growth: A Qualitative Study into the Therapeutic Experiences of Consensually Non-Monogamous Clients in the United Kingdom

Introduction: Previous research shows a dearth of literature relating to the therapeutic experiences of the consensually non-monogamous (CNM) population. Research Question and Aims: We aim to understand the experiences of CNM clients in mental healthcare with a view to improving services. Method: This is an online, questionnaire-based qualitative study. Participants (n = 19) were CNM individuals who had accessed mental healthcare in the UK and disclosed being a part of CNM to their practitioner. They were recruited through social media and internet forums. Some ethical considerations included the vulnerability of this population and concerns over anonymity. Thematic analysis of the data was conducted. Findings: Three main themes were identified, these were ‘stigma’, ‘pathologisation’ and ‘barriers to openness within the therapeutic alliance’. Conclusion: It is theorized that societal mononormativity impacts both clients and practitioners within mental healthcare. For clients this compounds minority stress and results in experiences of fear of disclosure in anticipation of stigma. For practitioners, this mononormativity manifests in stigmatizing assumptions and the pathologisation of CNM in clients. Taken together, this culminates in a lack of openness and damage to the therapeutic alliance. This means care is ineffective and potentially harmful. Ways of mitigating this, including education and the development of meta skills, are explored.

“Monogamy? In this Economy?”: Stigma and Resilience in Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships

Monogamous marriage, sometimes called “the bedrock of society,” still carries an apparent “halo” of moral superiority as a relationship structure. In contrast, consensual non-monogamous (CNM) configurations are stigmatized. Research indicates a connection between stigma, stress, and negative health outcomes, despite CNM comparing favorably with monogamy. The present study uses interviews to explore minority stress and resilience among individuals in CNM relationships. Participants experienced structural stigma as erasure, and interpersonal stigma as erasure and educational/emotional work. They also describe complex enmeshment between their relationship minority status and other aspects of their sexual and gender identities. Strategic disclosure and concealment were important management tools. Furthermore, managing individual (internalized) stigma was described as unlearning mononormative bias and surrounding oneself with supportive peers/allies. The strongest motivator for perseverance was the steadfast conviction that the advantages of CNM outweighed the challenges.

Stigma Toward Consensual Non-Monogamy: Thematic Analysis and Minority Stress.

Consensually non-monogamous (CNM) romantic and sexual relationships tend to be stigmatized. The present research examined this stigma across two studies. First, we qualitatively explored the specific ways that people in CNM relationships report experiencing stigma using thematic analysis and identified the following four themes: Expressions of discomfort/disapproval of CNM, Loss of resources/threatening behaviors, Character devaluation, and Relationship devaluation (Study 1; N = 372). Second, we examined the relationship between experienced stigma and psychological well-being for people in CNM relationships, using the framework of minority stress theory. We found that experienced stigma was positively associated with psychological distress and that this association was partially statistically mediated by anticipated stigma and internalized stigma (Study 2; N = 383). Overall, this research strives to achieve a better understanding of the processes and potential consequences of stigma toward CNM relationships and individuals.

Stepping off the ‘relationship escalator’. A spatial perspective on residential arrangements of consensually non-monogamous parents

The residential landscape of western societies in the 20th century was based on a nuclear and monogamous normative representation of the family. This representation contrasts with the representation of the family that some consensually non-monogamous (CNM) parents carry. How did CNM informants combine residence, parenting and multiple relationships within the hetero-mono-normative organizational legacy of society? An extensive set of exploratory and ethnographic data was gathered in francophone countries in Western Europe during 2013–2018. Informants’ dwelling configurations were interpreted as the result of their personal life paths interwoven with a web of macrostructural tensions. A comparative approach on residences, combined with life stories gathered within a strategic group of informants, contributed to understanding the various processes leading to specific forms of CNM dwellings with children. The comparison highlights five categories of CNM residential patterns, all resulting from attempts to compromise with the hetero-mono-normative dwelling tradition. The developments of transportation and communication technologies appeared as an important factor in the spatial and temporal organizations of family functions within the CNM configurations observed. These CNM family arrangements also appeared as ephemeral and versatile. These conclusions lead to new avenues of research regarding the social forces contributing to their fragility despite the intent of the actors.

Stigmatization of Consensual Non-Monogamous Partners: Perceived Endorsement of Conservation or Openness to Change Values Vary According to Personal Attitudes.

Studies have shown that romantic partners in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization. However, little is known about the underlying mechanisms and the conditions under which such stigmatization occurs. In two experimental studies (combined N = 772), we asked participants to read the description of two partners in a relationship (monogamous vs. open relationship vs. polyamorous) and make a series of judgments about those partners. Overall results showed that CNM (vs. monogamous) partners were perceived as less trustworthy and as having more sexual health concerns (Studies 1 and 2), and as being less committed and less sexually satisfied (Study 2). Results from a conditional mediation analysis (Study 2) further showed that participants with negative attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having less conservation and more openness to change values, which was then associated with more stigmatization. In contrast, participants with positive attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having more openness to change values, which was then associated with less stigmatization. Taken together, these results extended the literature focused on prejudice, discrimination, and stigmatization of minority groups and highlighted key elements that can be used to buffer stigmatization.

Factors that Facilitate and Hinder the Experience of Compersion Among Individuals in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships.

Compersion refers to the positive feelings, such as joy, excitement and contentment, that one may experience in response to one's partner's other consensually non-monogamous (CNM) intimate relationship(s). In the study, we recruited 44 CNM participants who had experienced compersion to complete an open-ended online survey regarding the factors that facilitated and hindered their experiences of compersion. A thematic analysis identified three main themes: intrapersonal/individual factors, experiences in and characteristics of the relationship with one's partner(s), and feelings/judgments about one's metamour (one's partner's partner). The factors most commonly named by participants as facilitating compersion included: feelings of self-worth, feeling secure and that one's needs were being met in the relationship with the partner, communication with one's partner, and positive regard for one's metamour. Participants shared conflicting experiences regarding the nature of the relationship between jealousy and compersion and whether the ability to feel compersion was innate or learned. Findings were generally consistent with the small body of literature on this phenomenon. Several theories, including Broaden-and-Build, Self-Expansion, and Crossover, may help us understand the underpinnings of compersion and the pathways through which the experience might strengthen and deepen relationships. The study's results suggest multiple hypotheses ripe for future testing. Increasing our knowledge of this little known phenomenon carries the potential to help us identify strategies to manage jealousy and increase positive feelings across all relationship types.

Evaluating Structural Therapy from a Consensual Nonmonogamy Lens

Consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) persons are significantly underrepresented in couple therapy research. There are very few models of therapy formatted specifically to work with the unique configurations of CNM. Yet, the systemic underpinnings of the couple and family therapy field are most appropriately aligned with conceptualizing and treating issues within a multi-system configuration such as nonmonogamous relationships. Structural therapy is a timeless theoretical orientation that shows aptitude and flexibility to be adapted for more socially just application. We analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the original model and critique those through a social justice lens. We propose adapted strategies and interventions for working with CNM clients, and for ease of use with an updated approach that is inclusive of alternative relationship configurations.

Are the Developmental Features of Emerging Adulthood Associated with Willingness to Engage in Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships?

The purpose of this study was to examine whether the developmental features of emerging adulthood were associated with willingness to engage in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships. All participants (N = 792) were English speaking emerging adults (ages 18-25) residing in the USA. About half were attending college, whereas the other half had no college experience. After controlling for a number of variables (i.e., college status, sex/gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity exploration, sexual identity commitment, and casual sex attitudes), greater perceptions of emerging adulthood as a time of identity exploration and feeling in between were negatively associated with willingness to engage in CNM relationships. Also, greater perceptions of emerging adulthood as a time of experimentation/possibilities was positively associated with willingness to engage in CNM. Although our final model explained 33.5% of the variance in willingness to engage in CNM relationships, perceptions of the developmental features of emerging adulthood accounted for just 4.2% of the variance explained. Future research on CNM relationships and relationship education for emerging adults are discussed.

Consensually nonmonogamous parent relationships during COVID-19

During the COVID-19 pandemic, parents in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships navigated public health directives to social distance and avoid contact between households. Many parents practicing CNM share romantic, sexual, and coparenting relationships across households, and the pandemic introduced challenges and opportunities for innovation in maintaining connection. This qualitative study sought to explore the experiences, challenges, and adaptations of CNM parents, using survey and interview data from 70 US parents collected between May and December 2020. Thematic analysis highlighted that many parents spent less time with non-cohabiting partners and more time with cohabiting partners and children, but also adapted via creative strategies such as incorporating partners into a quarantine pod, inviting partners to move in, or connecting over technology. These data illuminate the diverse ways that CNM parents engaged in and “queered” family and partner relationships during the pandemic.

Are there "Better" and "Worse" Ways to be Consensually Non-Monogamous (CNM)?: CNM Types and CNM-Specific Predictors of Dyadic Adjustment.

Research on consensual non-monogamy (CNM) has largely been restricted to comparisons between monogamous and CNM people, with researchers paying little attention to various CNM styles. The current research elucidated differences among three styles of CNM: open relationships, polyamory, and swinging. Across three studies, we demonstrated that people in polyamorous or swinger-style relationships have higher levels of relationship satisfaction and other relational outcomes (e.g., passionate love, trust) than those in open relationships. That is, people in open relationships consistently fared more poorly in their relational outcomes than those in other types of CNM relationships. In Studies 4 and 5, we isolated some of the reasons for these differences. We found that differences in relational outcomes between open-style and other styles of CNM dissipated when controlling for (a) couples' approach to communication, (b) extrinsic versus intrinsic motivations for participating in CNM, (c) adherence to pro-monogamy beliefs and (d) degree of contact with one's partner's partners ("metamours"). Thus, CNM-specific relational dynamics are associated with dyadic adjustment in these relationships.

Comparing the Self-Reported Health, Happiness, and Marital Happiness of a Multinational Sample of Consensually Non-Monogamous Adults with Those of the U.S. General Population: Additional Comparisons by Gender, Number of Sexual Partners, Frequency of Sex, and Marital Status.

The primary objective of this cross-sectional study was to examine the associations of self-reported health, happiness, marital happiness, frequency of sexual activity, and number of partners from a multinational survey of individuals who are consensually non-monogamous (CNM) or open to being CNM, completed in 2012 with 4062 respondents. We compared data from this survey with the 2010-2014 US General Social Surveys (GSS). This study explored these variables and their predictors by gender (including 612 non-binary-gendered CNM individuals), marital status, number of partners, sexual frequency, age, education, and income and were broken down by behavioral sexual orientation, marital status, and other relevant categories. Respondents in our CNM sample generally reported being as healthy (sometimes healthier; e.g., all respondents M-W Z = 7.66, p < .001, η2 = 0.007), happy (frequently happier; e.g., multiple-partnered Z = 15.43, p < .001, η2 = 0.069), happy in their marriages (in some cases happier; e.g., multiple-partnered females Z = 2.61, p = .009, η2 = 0.067), and reported having more frequent sexual activity (e.g., all Z = 29.54, p < .001, η2 = 0.094) with more partners (e.g., all Z = 60.75, p < .001, η2 = 0.393) compared to corresponding individuals within the GSS. This study contributes to knowledge about commonalities and differences between the general population and those who are CNM regarding health, happiness, and happiness in marriage, including differences in optimal number of sexual partners and sexual frequency.

Stories Told Together: Male Narratives of Non-Monogamous Bi+ and Heterosexual Men

The stories we tell about our identities and sexual orientations shape how we perform gendered scripts and negotiate relationships with significant others. Previous literature inquired the styles and outcomes of consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships, but more research is need on how CNM men resist or abide to hegemonic models of masculinity. To understand how constructions of masculinity and conceptualizations of sexual orientation are embedded in CNMs, the study analysed the stories of non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual men. Following a critical narrative approach, the study inquired the diverse conceptualizations of masculinity, sexual orientation and relationship practices in the narratives of 20 non-monogamous Bi+ and heterosexual identified men. The semi-structured in-depth narrative interviews (105 min on average) were analyzed via Nvivo 12 and explored their stories of desire and the sense-making process of being sexually oriented to one or more genders and to one or more partner/s. Engaging in non-monogamy was signified as a relevant insight from their personal stories and/or from adopting new concepts of desire beyond the “love as a zero-sum game.” The latter theme was also shared by many heterosexual participants that, when negotiating a non-monogamous agreement, signified their attractions to more than one person as part of their personal identity. Finally, the paper discusses how non-monogamous spaces can offer a positive and safe space for bisexuals/Bi+ people to explore and reaffirm their identities, constantly challenged by biphobia, invisibility, and erasure. Experiences and stories of Italian cisgender Bi+ and heterosexual men cannot be generalized to the whole spectrum of masculinities within CNM spaces, and the study lacks how other gendered and sexual subjectivities construct masculinity. Diverse stories and construction of sexuality and gender can lead to similar relationship preferences and understanding how we signify them can greatly improve our understanding of intimacies.

What Drives the Dehumanization of Consensual Non-Monogamous Partners?

We built upon a recent study by Rodrigues, Fasoli, Huic, and Lopes (2018) by investigating potential mechanisms driving the dehumanization of consensual non-monogamous (CNM) partners. Using a between-subjects experimental design, we asked 202 Portuguese individuals (158 women; Mage = 29.17, SD = 9.97) to read the description of two partners in a monogamous, open, or polyamorous relationship, and to make a series of judgments about both partners. Results showed the expected dehumanization effect, such that both groups of CNM partners (open and polyamorous) were attributed more primary (vs. secondary) emotions, whereas the reverse was true for monogamous partners. Moreover, results showed that the dehumanization effect was driven by the perception of CNM partners as less moral and less committed to their relationship. However, these findings were observed only for individuals with unfavorable (vs. favorable) attitudes toward CNM relationship. Overall, this study replicated the original findings and extended our understanding of why people in CNM relationships are stigmatized.

Consensual Non-Monogamy Relationship Rules Among Young Gay and Bisexual Men: A Dyadic Qualitative Analysis.

Consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationship rules, the boundaries and understandings partners have about acceptable behaviors related to their CNM relationship, are associated with relationship functioning and sexual health risk among gay and bisexual men. Partnered young gay and bisexual men (YGBM) experience unique relational challenges and sexual health disparities. Thus, understanding the nuances of relationship rules among YGBM in CNM relationships is of particular importance. However, few studies have examined relationship rules specifically among YGBM. The current study sought to explore relationship rules among YGBM in CNM relationships, including both those explicitly discussed and those implicitly assumed. We also assessed concordance and discrepancies in partners' reports of their relationship rules, as well as rule violations. Partners from 10 CNM couples (n = 20; Mage = 25.3) completed separate semi-structured interviews that included questions about their relationship rules. Individual- and dyad-level analyses were conducted using a modified version of the consensual qualitative research method. Three main themes of relationship rules emerged from the data: extradyadic partner criteria, conditions regarding extradyadic sex, and conditions regarding maintenance of the primary relationship. While 39% of participants reported rules that were not endorsed by their partner, few clearly contradictory discrepancies in partners' reports were observed. Nine participants reported having at least one implicit rule and 70% of participants (from 8 of 10 couples) reported that they and/or their partner violated at least one rule. Explicit rules and rule concordance may be associated with improved relationship functioning. Common violations of sexual risk reduction rules may contribute to YGBM's increased HIV/STI risk.

Feeling Good About Your Partners' Relationships: Compersion in Consensually Non-Monogamous Relationships.

Compersion is a well-known term in polyamorous communities that connotes the positive emotion an individual may experience in relation to their partner's relationship with another partner. We know little about this emotion or about the factors that facilitate or inhibit its expression. The lack of a standardized measure for compersion has likely contributed to its neglect in the empirical literature. We sought to remedy this gap by creating a reliable and valid quantitative scale, The COMPERSe (Classifying Our Metamour/Partner Emotional Response Scale), through a multi-stage, bottom-up process grounded in a qualitative understanding of consensually non-monogamous (CNM) individuals' lived experience of compersion. This paper describes the thematic analysis of qualitative data (n = 44) which underpinned item generation, revision of the item pool based on researcher, practitioner, and community member feedback, exploratory (n = 310) and confirmatory factor analyses (n = 320) to ascertain the factor structure of the data, and examination of convergent and divergent validity. Results supported the use of a three-factor scale (Happiness about Partner/Metamour Relationship, Excitement for New Connections, and Sexual Arousal), which demonstrated excellent internal consistency as well as strong divergent and convergent validity.