The social inclusion of military women is negatively affected by dominant masculine norms. Often, military organizations try to promote inclusion through top-down policies. However, little is known about solutions military personnel themselves propose, and what is needed to implement those. Drawing on an action research project in the Netherlands Armed Forces, we identify four systemic collaborative requirements to implement initiatives aimed at improving inclusion: (a) awareness and recognition of women’s (negative) experiences, (b) a safe environment for dialogue and joint ownership, (c) organizational trust, support and mandate, and (d) the implementation of interventions in the organizational structure. We discuss two paradoxes we identified (a) addressing inclusion in unsafe workplaces requires safety and (b) creating awareness about women’s social inclusion without putting women in the spotlight. Our results show that a dialogic and collaborative approach is promising, especially to address the complexities that arise when trying to strengthen inclusion.