Abstract Background In recent years, there has been a focus on the role of fathers in childcare within public debates and social policies. Maternity, paternity, and parental leaves are essential tools for active father involvement in family life. The study aims to describe the fathers and mothers’ perspective about the use of two types of leave (paternity and parental) by fathers. Methods As part of the European project 4E (Early, Equal, Engaged, Empathetic) PARENT (CERV-2022-DAPHNE No. 101095956), a cross-sectional study was carried out using an online questionnaire addressed to parents between August and December 2023. Results A total of 3,811 mothers and 720 fathers participated. Sixty percent of mothers and 57% of fathers came from the North, with the majority having a high level of education (74% and 58%, respectively). Seventy-three percent of fathers reported using paternity leave, with most cases from the public welfare system (59%). Overall, most of mothers (91%) and fathers (89%) do not consider the current duration of leave adequate nor do they agree with the traditional division of family roles. Additionally, 69% of mothers and 72% of fathers believe that fathers should have more leave, but also that mothers need more months for breastfeeding. The logistic model shows that for fathers: low education level (ORadj 0.34, 95% CI 0.13-0.86), living in the Center (ORadj 0.49, 95% CI 0.28-0.87) and Southern Italy (ORadj 0.32, 95% CI 0.15-0.64), and acceptance of traditional family role division (ORadj 0.30, 95% CI 0.14-0.65) reduce the likelihood of using paternity leave. Similar results were observed in case of mothers’ responses. Furthermore, living in Southern Italy reduces the likelihood of using parental leave for both fathers (ORadj 0.24, 95% CI 0.09-0.69) and mothers (ORadj 0.67, 95% CI 0.49-0.92). Key messages • Maternity, paternity, and parental leaves are crucial for facilitating active father participation in family life. • It is important to implement inclusive policies that ensure equitable access to paternity and parental leave, thereby promoting active father involvement in childcare.