The title of this brief discussion is inspired by the poem by Christina Georgina Rossetti ‘Where shall I find a white rose blowing?’ White roses are considered to symbolise honour, respect, dignity and peace, and are particularly relevant to loss, death, grief, and hope. The idea of hope when a person is dying is nonetheless complex, and can confuse and distress family members. While hope for curing a serious illness may not be possible, it is often helpful to review life, loves and relationships, in order to progress through the experience, and die with some sense of peace and equanimity - this is realistic hope. The brief account that follows is disguised, yet illustrates ways in which normal communication between family members became difficult, throughout episodes of serious ill-health. The usual ways that family members communicated were no longer helpful or could be tolerated by the family as a whole. Brief psychotherapy helped, and although confined to a single assessment consultation, all involved recognised the need for an immediate change in circumstances, in order to achieve and provide some level of emotional and relational comfort to one another, at a time of extreme crisis.