‘You have all those emotions inside that you cannot show because of what they will cause’: Disclosing the absence of one's uterus and vagina

Abstract

This article examines young women's experiences of telling others that they have no uterus and no, or a so-called small, vagina – a condition labelled ‘congenital absence of uterus and vagina’, which falls within the larger category of ‘atypical’ sex development. Our aim is to investigate how affective dissonances such as fear and frustration are expressed in young women's narratives about letting others know about their ‘atypical’ sex development, and how these women narrate desired steps to recognition. By drawing on feminist writings on the performativity of affects or emotions, we examine what affective dissonances accomplish within three identified narratives: how affective dissonances may contribute to the women's positioning of themselves vis-à-vis other individuals and how affective dissonances can imply a strengthening and/or questioning of norms about female embodiment and heterosexuality. This allows us to tease out how routes for questioning of these norms become available through the three narratives that together form a storyline of coming out about a congenital absence of a uterus and vagina in the Swedish context. Furthermore, by demonstrating how others' responses shape the women – their understandings of their own bodies, their envisaged future disclosures and their relations – our analysis highlights the multifaceted intersubjective and in other ways relational, affective and temporal dimensions of coming out about one's 'atypical' sex development.