"You are such a disappointment!": negative emotions and parents' perceptions of adult children's lack of success.

Abstract

Parents' perceptions of their adult children's successes (or lack thereof) may be associated in different ways with discrete negative emotions (e.g., guilt, anger, disappointment, and worry). Furthermore, mothers and fathers may vary in their reactions to children's success in different domains. Participants included 158 mothers and fathers from the same families (N = 316) and their adult child. Mothers and fathers evaluated their adult children's successes in (a) career and (b) relationship domains. Mothers and fathers also reported on several negative emotions in the parent-child tie: guilt, anger, disappointment, and worry. For fathers, perceptions of children's poorer career success were associated with disappointment, anger, and guilt. Mothers' perceptions of children's lack of career success were associated with disappointment and worry. Mothers' perceptions of children's poorer success in relationships were associated with each of the negative emotions, with the exception of anger. Parents experience emotions associated with unmet goals and future concerns in relationships with less successful children. Mothers may respond emotionally to career and relationship success, whereas fathers may respond emotionally primarily to their child's career success. Findings underscore the importance of considering the context of parents' negative emotional experiences in ties to adult children.