Working with People: How to Set Limits When a Patient Demands Too Much

Abstract

What should you do when you feel angry with a patient or don't like him? Is it OK to let patients know how you feel? Most of us become uncomfortable when we experience strong negative feelings toward patients. We withdraw or try to avoid the person. While this response may work in short-term encounters, the nurse-patient relationship demands that we solve, not ignore, the problem. In working with sick people daily, it becomes easy to take for granted the profound impact illness has on people. Most patients feel very vulnerable and are frightened by their dependence on us. They perceive our distancing or avoidance as abandonment. They will do whatever it takes to counteract our behavior, to keep us involved. Thus, if we do not deal with our dislike of a patient, we set up a situation where a patient must yell to get our attention. Should we try to ignore our angry feelings and force ourselves to be pleasant? Again, this response isn't appropriate. First, difficult patients are, on some level, aware of how they are affecting others and don't trust an unrealistic smiling response. Instead, they may worry that you are